Sherlock Holmes Spoiled Me

If you have watched Sherlock Holmes TV Series, you are going to love this post. If you have not watched Sherlock Holmes TV Series, then you are going to watch both the seasons after reading this post.

Except that I was born pre-matured, everything else happened late in life. Sherlock Holmes TV series is the latest addition into that list. Though its first season aired in 2010 and second season in 2012, I watched both the seasons only in December 2012.What a pity! 

Last month I bit my nails hard, held my cushions tight and forgot to bathe as I watched this series. This not an exaggerated explanation to make you feel great about the series but except gobbling my food at odd times without taking my eyes off the screen and attending only the utmost emergency nature’s calls, I did watch six 90 minutes episodes split into two seasons in a stretch. The series has a rating of 9.2 out of 10 in IMDB but I’m not really happy about it. I wish it had a rating of 9.8 out of 10.

Everybody knows what Sherlock Holmes does, so an explanation about his role is totally unnecessary. What attracted me a lot is that Sherlock Holmes is ultra modern in his techniques to solve his cases. He texts, uses GPS, does video conferencing and many more. One of the most striking features of the series is that it displays Sherlock’s text messages on the screen and displays what is in Sherlock’s mind when he is analyzing a person.


After watching the series without a break, I became crazy. And the craziness was in analyzing people. I started staring at people after the weekend and made analysis as below.

“She is married because mangalsutra/thaali is worn. She is newly married because she still looks like a kid and wears too much of gold. Possibly got married only couple of weeks back. She comes from a middle class family because her accessories are decent and moderately priced. Probably still coping up with sex life, sleeping late and waking up early for the household chores because she looks happy but yawns every minute and her eyes look sleep deprived. Romance from last night still lingers because she smiles like a fool and plays with her dupatta.”
“She is from a poor family,may be from a very poor family. She is not happy in life because there is no life in her eyes. Her face lacks nutrition and body lacks food. Her skin looks dry and her palms are hard and dirty. She is too poor to take care of herself; forget about the skin care. The nails are dirty and unclean which means before leaving to job she must be doing some household work. Her heels are cracked which means she runs around without chappals.Her chappals are torn and she has carefully adjusted one of the straps with a small safety-pin. May be the poverty has stricken too badly on her and the family. She looks tired, hungry too I guess because she has a headache and swallows too much of saliva.”
“Yet another software slave. But he doesn’t have a paunch and his arms are strong which means he works out well; possibly daily workouts. Early twenties and a bachelor because he has that I- don’t  care- what -the- fcuk- is- happening- around- me look. He is not from a very rich family but he is buying accessories for him. He has a brand new phone but clothes and shoes are below average. His bag is old and faded but his watch is new which means he is in the process of buying new things for him. He is not committed because in his Galaxy Note 2 he copy pastes his girls’ network’s inquirers with the same answer. Something is bothers him because he taps his phone on his knees. He gets a text and he sighs. He is relieved. Sigh! Something serious is going on with a girl because after getting the text he smiles and there is a sudden energy inside him.”
“Well polished nails, straightened hair, lipstick with lip gloss and sunglasses. Her head is covered to protect from the Chennai pollution. She keeps her legs crossed and her shoes are expensive. But I think she is not rich and she acts as if she is rich. The nail polish is applied more than four layers to make it look like branded one. Though she has worn lipstick with a lip gloss, it spreads at the corners of her lips which mean she is still getting use to wearing a lipstick. Her skin lacks that look and attitude of a rich girl which means it is all a show off to make people think that she is from a rich family. She is very bothered about wearing the sun glasses which means she doesn’t wear them often. Then why is she wearing them and acting weird? That means somebody is there in her vicinity whom she knows and wants to show off to them and not attract them.”
“Somebody is waiting for him; most probably his wife because it was a female voice at the other end when he talked over the phone. He is stressed out but he is happy and cheerful. May be he is going to attend a wedding reception. He is restless that means he is late for the function.Oops! He forgot something; yes he has forgotten something. He is searching his pockets, his bag and his lunch kit too. What it could be if he even opened his lunch kit to search for it? He calls someone named Gayatri; may be wife. It is a key. Oh My God! He keeps his house key inside his lunch box. I’m dumbstruck. He gets down and there is a woman in a heavy sari waving him from the other side of the road. Thus my guesses are equal to his actions. Hence proved.”
“The typical Indian working woman with kids. She feeds her family before she eats because time is post 11 AM and she eats her breakfast from the train. She ran into the train which means she was late today and didn’t time for her breakfast or she has the habit of eating it peacefully from the train. She stretches and folds her legs so she must be standing in the kitchen for a long time. After gulping her breakfast, she dozed off which means she works at the IT Park at the last station of the train and she must have woke up early that day. She has kids; two kids and both C-section because there are stretch marks and stitch marks on her stomach. Very carelessly dressed; Yet another mother struggling to balance both home and work because even in her sleep she frowns. She must be beautiful in her younger age because except the C-section belly, over used hands and legs, she looks pretty.”
“She is not beautiful but she wants to become beautiful. A late teen who is conscious about her looks. She wants to take out her mirror and check her makeup but she is embarrassed. She is restless and tensed. As she is a confused teen with an inferiority complex, she must have tried something new on her and that causes her this silly tension. Hair looks is normal, minimal compact powder make up, college attire, recently threaded eye brows and upper lip but I cannot make out why she is very conscious. She made an unnatural cough and took her phone out of her college bag. After playing with her phone, she checked her face on the phone’s screen. That means there is something new that she has tried on her face. Nose pin. One of her nostrils is slightly reddish and swollen.”

My Sherlock Holmes investigation style would continue until anybody punch on my face for staring at them and making weird faces and conclusions. Until then, happy staring.

 Caution to the descendants of Adam : Be careful while using the above technique to analyze the descendants of Eve.

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