Worries of an Indian Boy – Question No.4

Continued from here,the fourth question asked in the survey was

Do you think Indian men can help to make India a safer country for women to live in?

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I have purposely not moderated the answers for this question.

Absolutely, the problem causer can simply refrain and make way for a safer place. How to achieve it is based on a deeper introspection and a practical approach. In my view three aspects that drive men to commit crimes against women.

a. Women being glamour material in most movies, TV shows, ads etc. | The start

b. Pornography | The continuation

c. Prostitution being illegal & scarce | The effect of harassing any and all women instead.

Firstly the offense committing men cannot be stopped from doing so by law or by force (history has only seen the uptrend) but only by providing them alternative avenues. Hence the premise of my solution is basically that all such men are sex craved ones.

To make our country a safe place for women, there needs a lot of ground breaking stuff that needs to be done and one of the important ones of it is to make a system of legalizing prostitution (for both men and women) as well as it should not be a unclean shady affair but a safe, satisfaction guaranteed one making sure those employed retain their respect! – Charan Saravana

No. Well, this may be a bit conservative thought, but I think it is true, at least from my perspective. Indian women is gaining well in terms of expressing their opinions and is being better educated and certainly add much to development of society when compared to early years. This is due to the prominent interest that women should equal man in every aspects. Naturally, its human nature that if I hold power, and if someone else agree it, then I’d have a tendency to take care of the other. So, if men equals women, definitely, there will be competition in everything, and ultimately women’s safety will be compromised. Since Indian women as history suggests are highly talented, there will be unhealthy competition for sure. – Kizhakkepurakkal Ashwin

Yes, they can. But they wont. There are two ways to make place safer for women. Standing up for girls in distress and other hero stuff. That takes a lot of courage and super hero kind of observation. But there is stopping to do the staring and enjoying the accidental brushes. Basically stopping the villain stuffs. It is very sad to say but if you take a survey, every adolescent is willing to take a chance in this. I don’t know whether the reason is peer pressure or other stupid things. I would love to write yes, we can protect girls by walking around with hockey sticks and all. But till pinching a girl’s breast or hip gives high to a male, this isn’t gonna stop. There is a serious re-engineering needed in the parenting on this front. – Bragadeesh Prasanna

I really don’t know what do to about this. Both men and women has to do something about this. Both has to be open minded and stop looking at each other as aliens. The society has a big role here. I feel all the suppression of our real feelings comes out as rape and such. There is no simple ans single solution. you just have to give time to change the society from within. I don’t think strikes and such makes these problems go away. – Vipin Lal

4) Yes men can strive to do it. If all men are disciplined and view women via soul and not  body, this whole world will be a heaven to live in. Also en equal coöperation from women via their dressing and behavior and everything. Because for this place to be a heaven requires all the people participation and coöperation. – Name withheld

Yes, Indian men can do this, certainly
Indian men should be respectfully to woman and show this in public as an example
Indian men should take party for women in case other men attacking women verbal and non-verbal
Indian men should follow the rules of politeness
Indian police must chase the attacks against women. Important police persons are men
Indian woman should perform in movies not as a victim of the strong and good-looking mean
but one remark: the male child should learn in childhood that he is not the king – Joe Di

Please rephrase the question. It is not men / women who make a country a safer place but the society which consists of both men and women coupled with fair laws – Burt Phoenix

More than what men can do to safeguard women, women themselves should be sensible enough not to put her in a spot which is unsafe.  – Joshi Mukard

When 92% of crimes happen against men. When the rate of female criminals is increasing in India. Then I do not see the need to focus on women safety alone. – Amit Deshpande

 If there is anyone who can do it, it is the Indian men, isn’t. If they learn to keep it in their pants, the women folk will be safe. Simple.  – Ganesh Raj

No, you cant expect the wolf to guard the sheep. Unless women fight
for their rights they will get none. Men are great threats to women but
greater threats to themselves. If women want freedom they have to
fight for it else, cause men are not going to give you rights because
if they do they lose control. Control over someone(men/women) is
actually an orgasmic power trip – Name Withheld

Firstly, by treating women with respect as equals.
Secondly, by intervening when they see a woman being harassed.
Thirdly, by helping to empower women to take care of themselves.
(Frankly, this (making India a safer country for women to live in) needs a lot of effort and struggle by all people ( men and women, private citizens, police, government, etc.).) – Name withheld

First, I will accept India is not that safe country for women to live in. We stand in a very poor place when it comes to women safety and empowerment according to UN Development Index. but i feel Indian men can make India safer for women, If u ask me how, its simple, learning to treat them equal. But they have to be taught. And i think it should all starts from the family itself. – Gokoulane Ravi

If you are talking about all the Indian men then it very difficult but those are who are against it can help in by reacting against the crime on the spot. But yet i don’t know, it is a curse for the women that they are been raped – Name withheld

*I hope I haven’t messed up with the names and permissions granted.If yes,please let me know immediately.



Lessons NOT learned from the West

Couple of hours back, I was wondering about the drastic change that happened to the culture of India in past 20 years. It happened too fast and steady that now even when we look back, it is difficult to believe that we have changed. We mimicked almost everything from the West; both good and bad. When you attend some parties it is difficult to believe that we are in India itself .We see an entirely different population that drink and dance .We could see the guys in covered up in clothes and the girls in an extremely opposite costume. We won’t hear even a word in Hindi or any other regional languages.But the saddest part is that we adopted 10 per cent positives from the West and we made a mistake of swallowing another 90 per cent which do no good to us.

Our talent to adapt our life style to another is surely an appreciated one. We learned how to speak English without Indian slangs, we changed our clothes to short and low, we loved different music and movies, we changed/deleted our menu to give space for American foods, we even changed the benchmark for HIGH status family if the family talks in English.

But even after taking in so much into our lives, we failed to see the points that would have changed our culture for good. There are two key elements that we forgot to snatch into our lives; unwed mothers and high paid wives.

Though we fight for pride and sanctity, we never realized that all we have is one life and we have to live it and not to kill it. Suicide is not a medicine to anything. It won’t cure anything, also it won’t change anything. The supposedly “bad” name for you and your family is not going to change by suicide. It will do more harm than we think. The person who spoiled/cheated you will have a good life because the society pampers him by saying “It is usual that guys of this age do these things, it is the girls who should safe guard themselves. Guys of this age are like this. Who told the girl to go out that time? Or who told the girl to trust that guy?”Isn’t the guy equally guilty in this matter? But that is purposely forgotten matter in our Indian culture. If you kill yourself, the loss is for you, loss is for your family and to NOBODY else. The departed soul will not rest in peace when a criminal case is charged on it.

You have to fight and live a life with boldness. You should show the world who pulled you down that you lived a life, you should show the spoiled minds that not just him, but you can also have a life. After all, God gave life to us to live it not to end it.

It is sad that nobody gives protection to the unwed mothers and the rape victims but the protection and support are always given to the ones who created these unlucky mothers and wounded victims. The culture that we should bring from West is the way they take these things light. They have the law which protects them to have a life. Both the girl and guy know to live a life even after having such a tragedy in their lives. Look at the life of Oprah Winfrey . Today people feel honored when invited for her Talk Show. But she got raped at the age of 9 and got pregnant at the age of 14 and it was the courage and boldness that she showed changed her destiny. That gave a place for her in the both the history and world. It is a vain to crib that God is not kind enough to give a good life. The truth is that you killed the life given by Him by not living it.

IT sector gives you a lot of opportunities to talk with the people in West. One of my American friends told me that her husband is running a small business and she earns triple of what her husband earns. She got two daughters and they lead a happy life .But here in India, I know more than 20 couples who fight just because the wife earns 1000 bucks more than the husband. Some of my senior friends were telling me that during the match making process, most of the guys en quire about the salary and they always prefer somebody who is earning less than them. Another senior friend of mine ended her 3 years wedding 7 months back just because she started earning more than her husband after getting a promotion. Why does this happen in such a highly boasted educated and rapid growing country like India? We see most of the highly acclaimed and talented Indian women are either divorced or still single. We live a married life by sharing the both the joys and sorrows. Yes, the relatives and friends do come as negative roles by teasing the guy about a -1000 in his earnings. But is that the way to make the married life horrible? Is that the way to deal with your wife? Or is that the way to show the typical Indian male chauvinism? What is it????Look at the famous director James Cameroon and his ex – wife Kathryn Bigelow who won the Oscar for best Director this year. They appreciated each other during the function. If it was in India, the woman would have not turned up for the function or would have even dramatized by turning down the award saying “he deserves it” and then the media tagging her “the best wife”.

The life at West is simple. They know how to move on with their lives and they know how to take their lives to heights.

I think instead of having bulges and showing flesh by adopting the food and clothes  from the West, we should try to bring in matters that will change our lives for the good. One of my American colleagues told me that they adopt things from India that will do only good to them like stability of marriages, Ayurveda, recipes etc. See that’s how we should adopt another culture.

Think India… Think…