The Utopian Indian Society

There are certain moments in life when we wonder “Oops!! How come I missed that person?”

Amit is one among those wonderful and popular bloggers in the country.There could be only two thoughts – either you know Amit or you don’t.If you know Amit,you are going to stop reading rest of this paragraph and jump on to the post.If you don’t know Amit, by the end of this post,you will repeat the dialog which I have written above.

This is a guest post from Amit Sharma and he blogs at Mashed Musings .His posts are widely shared and discussed.He stands out in the crowded blogosphere mainly because of his witty sarcastic posts and his heart to call himself a male-feminist.

Thank you Amit for writing for me.You are simply awesome.


Am I dreaming?”

Yes and No. It is difficult to explain. This is real but you are in a dream.”


Listen. I am bored. I called you here because I think you can make me laugh.”


I am giving you a power. Make a wish and snap your fingers. It will come true. Don’t do anything stupid. Just try to make me laugh. Okay?”

How many times can I make a wish?”

Till my stomach hurts.”

How will I know that you are laughing?”

A pause.

A lightening bolt will fall 20 feet away from you.”

I opened my eyes. Did I really dream of sitting on a cloud and talking to a light?

God is bored? Really? Jesus!”

The first bolt

I took a bus to my office. There was a van following us and its driver was honking uncontrollably. My ears were vibrating at an unacceptable frequency. I looked at my hand.

What’s the harm?” I murmured.

“If he honks when he should not honk, let him not hear the honk,” I said and snapped my fingers.

The driver kept honking for sometime but then stopped, visibly perplexed. I was suddenly scared.

I snapped my fingers many times that day. I applied the concept to all the drivers in Delhi in one snap. It was in the news that evening. A lot of drivers in the capital could not hear their car horns even though the rest of the world could hear it. There were discussions on television, scientists sat in panels, astrologers talked of doomsday. There was a deafening silence on the roads of Delhi. It was as if the city was put on mute. Suddenly everyone was scared of honking. That night there was a lightening bolt out of the clear sky near my house.

The Second bolt

Next night while watching television, I came across the news of a college principal fining girls in her college for wearing jeans. My eyes shone with mischief.

All those who think wearing jeans leads to molestation must be fitted with permanent jeans,” I said and snapped my fingers.

The next day when India woke up, 90% of it was wearing permanent blue jeans. People could not take it off completely in any situation. While relieving yourself, the jeans would come down till the knees but then will wrap up automatically as soon as you are done. You have to wash them while wearing them. You have to take a bath while wearing them. It was again on news. Some people were crying like babies. Some people were laughing like crazy. Jeans clad citizen thronged temples, churches, Mosques and Gurudwaras for help. There was terror on their faces.

There was a lightening bolt that night near me when I was walking back home. I looked up and smiled.

The Third bolt

News of another scam broke out next day. It shared the front page with silent honks and permanent jeans.

A tail should grow at the rate of 1 mm/10,000 Rs for all those who think public money to be their own,” I said and snapped my fingers.

In two days, a lot of influential people left the country for plastic surgeries in private jets. Some of them were not that fortunate as they had a kilometre long tail. They tried everything from axe, saw and acids, but the tails kept growing. No one had any idea why that was happening. Parliament stopped functioning. Top government officials went into hiding with their tails between their legs. Astrologers predicted that the end of the world was near.

The first set of people who understood what was happening were Police officers. Their tails grew slowly. Three lightning bolts fell near my house.

The fourth bolt

I was thinking of what to do next when I read the news of a girl being gang-raped in Haryana. How to tackle this in a way that it makes God laugh, I wondered. Then I smiled.

Make a permanent sunflower grow instead of the organ during an assault,” I said and snapped my fingers.

When the next rape attempt happened in India, which was like in the next 5 minutes, the girl came out of the ordeal laughing, wiping tears from her eyes. She went straight to the media and told them that the moment the guy opened his zipper, a huge sunflower protruded out and the guy fainted. Soon media started calling it the ‘Sunflower Curse’. Any form of sexual assault on women and children started producing Sunflower men. The situation became so comical that soon there were mischievous posters on internet showing nude, crying men with a sunflower between their legs with a tagline – ‘Someone please deflower me!’ Sexual assaults went down to zero. Sunflower men did everything from making cows chew off their flowers to running after surgeons but the flora was permanent. Suddenly everyone forgot the silent honks, the permanent jeans and the corruption tails. The sunflower men were the latest laughing-stock.

It rained a few days later with ample lightning. That night, I was again on the cloud, dreaming but not dreaming.

How the hell did you come up with that sunflower?” God asked after he had laughed enough.

From old pictures where they used to cover private parts with flowers,” I said with a smile.

What would you like to have in return?” God asked as he beamed.

Can I have this power permanently?”

I cannot do that dear boy. Ask for anything else.”

Would you revert things to how they were or will you leave it as it is?”

I have to revert. It was just for laughs.”

Ok. So here is my wish. Revert it but go and tell each of those people that if they ever try to go back to their old ways, the change will happen again and it will be permanent this time.”

Granted,” God said after pondering over it for a while.

When I woke up the next day, things were back to normal but India was a very different place. We were back to being humans. We were back to being loving and caring. Yes, it was out of fear but I was sure that after living like this for a few days, we would realize that this is the only true way to create a country worth living. I was sure that the need of God’s threat will vanish as time passes.

We had taken our first step towards creating a Utopian Indian Society.

Image :

Related Read : Amit’s posts which blew my mind

Can you be fair filmfare?

The horny Indian

Open letter to all the molesters and rapists

We like our virgins

The hitchhikers guide to a sane life

The Liquefied Indian

Unexpected Incarnations

I grew up hearing stories of incarnations from the Hindu mythology.They were like the Bollywood heroes who came to rescue the innocent souls from the felons.May be those stories are told to kids to build faith in God.

Being a premature baby,I have made my parents run to the doctors often.Those days Mom’s office was closer to home that she could come home for lunch.So when I am sick,she kinda shuttled between office and home.One day when she was about to lock me up and leave to office,she realized that there was something wrong with me.My eyes rolled up making me helpless to look straight.My neck strained as if I was looking up to the sky.She tried to bring my neck back in normal position but my eyes and neck were still attracted to the sky.She took me and ran to the gate to get an auto rickshaw.As my neck was still reluctant to heed my brain’s commands,it was difficult for her to make me walk on the road.She cried badly and made me walk.Suddenly a jeep came and stopped next to us.They took us to the hospital.My problem was due to the medicine Stemetil.Then I came to know that I’m allergic to the medicines for vomiting.The interesting part is my Mom still don’t know who they were.She remembers like they helped her by lifting me to the casualty and paid the hospital bill too.

When my parents were trying hard to build their dream home,they went short of Rs.10,000 due to an unexpected surgery in the family.But the piece of land which they had selected had too many competitors.18 years back Rs.10,000 was a big amount for us.On the verge of giving up the plot and the dreams of having a house they seemed to lose the life in them.But two days before the registrations ,one of our family friends gave the cash to my Dad.He got to know about the shortage of cash through someone and helped my Dad.Later we came to know that he had to exchange his wife’s jewellery for giving us the cash.Today my parents live in their dream home situated next to a river bank which has a vast courtyard and lots of coconut trees.

Earlier this year when my brother was hospitalized due pneumonia,I felt immensely down.To add the pain there were no flights to Calicut as I got Mom’s call only by 7pm.I rushed to the railway station but the last train to Calicut had already gone by then.When I checked at the railway enquiry,a man told me to stay till the 1130pm train and promised me to help me in getting a reservation ticket.Even though he was a railway officer I was in a dilemma whether to trust him or not.Thinking of Prasun I couldn’t hold back my tears.By the time the train came I was tired of crying and I had forgotten to have my dinner too.I got inside the sleeper class compartment expecting to get a berth to sleep.The man which I had met at the enquiry suddenly asked me for my ticket.I gave him the ticket and he vanished.Next moment I cursed myself for being a fool under tensed situations.I gave my ticket to some stranger and I don’t know where he has gone.Tension was building towers in my mind and I went in search for him.The train had already started and I was inside it without a ticket.After wandering through the compartments I came back to the seat where I had kept my bag.To my surprise he was sitting there with my ticket converted to a reservation ticket.Next day morning he woke me up early so that I don’t miss my connection train.I wonder what I would’ve done if he had not helped me.

Going late to office became a habit only because of the advantage of having empty metro trains.One morning I felt like going early to office.Like I expected,I got squeezed like the sugar canes in the juice machine.Upon reaching the second station I had to step down for giving way for people to get down.While getting back to the foot board I got enough place to keep my legs.While nearing to Mambalam station I lost the grip and I fell down to the platform when people inside the train tried to make a move to get down.I remember rolling on the floor a dozen times.I went numb and I was in a shock.People surrounded me and shouted at top of their voice and some sweethearts took a picture of mine using cellphones.I didn’t know what to do and I realized that my legs have damaged badly.Suddenly a middle-aged woman helped me in getting up and cleared the way for me.She took me to the hospital.She dropped me back home and then to my surprise she was my new neighbor who had moved in the day before the incident.

Now aren’t these people incarnations of the Almighty?No wonder I still believe that God is inside you and me,and not locked inside a particular place.

Read about another incarnation.

Posted from WordPress for Android

A True Friend Stabs You In The Front

Sometimes my Mom tells me,it is better that we meet some bad people in the beginning of our lives;so that later we are aware of those smiling devils.

After a span of four years I thought about the downfall times of my life when I saw my kiddo friend Nikhil’s Facebook status,which read like ” A True Friend Stabs You In The Front“.

As I had a lonely weekend,I watched ‘3 Idiots’ before going to sleep.Though it is impossible to have filmy friendships in life,I was thinking why I have only a couple of friends from my college.College is a place where we get the friends for lifetime.But what went wrong in my life?Actually it was not my life which went wrong,it’s just that I met the wrong people in my life.

My school friends are still with me for more than a decade.But I am glad that the handpicked friends which I got from the college are worth than having a 100 friends.

Before coming to the college,I was not aware of lying,cheating,sweet talks and back-bitching.Back in school and at home,every relationship was transparent.If we were angry with somebody,we showed the anger.If we were upset due to somebody’s action,we always went up to that person and shouted at them.A few tears and a hug used to the solve the problems between us.Confessing and apologizing were good habits in a relationship.Due to these habits,our friendships were immortal.The fights and misunderstandings only made us feel closer to each other.

When in college,like a fool I believed everybody who talked sweetly to me.For the first time I realized that there is something called “making someone do your work”. People appreciated or encouraged others not because  the latter are good at it,they just wanted to get their work done.Ignorance was considered as a sin unlike the quote ‘ignorance is a bliss‘. There was an unhealthy race among the students and people flattered each other rather than encouraging.There were situations when people talked good about a person and then curse them secretly.

Sweet talks were made to get things done.People lied looking to our eyes which I understood as truths.Egos were ample that apologizing and confessing were seen as timid actions.Taking revenges were fun as if they had training on it before joining the college.People broke up with their partners when they find a better pasture.People lied often and at times it was difficult to make out whether what they talked was true or not.Friendships were more of comfortable zones than relationships.

There was a time when I had a dilemma on whom to trust.The funniest part is that whomever I loved and trusted gave me the biggest blows of my life.But God was kind to give me a few souls who stood with me during the down fall time and gave me the strength to come out of the failures.During my low times,people I “loved” were eager to end me as a “failure” of the millennium.There were times when I was not even sure that I will come out of the trauma of being cheated.

Once one of “sweet” friends whom I had considered as a sibling hugged me to wish me.But instead she just whispered to me that how much she hated me after hearing about one of my achievements.Two hours before when I had announced the good news to friends,it was she who had shouted the most with joy.At that moment I felt,it would have been better if she had actually stabbed me while hugging.It would have not hurt me that bad after hearing her words.

The biggest lesson I learned from my college was not the subject which I chose but how to judge people.Today I augur well even before they show me their dirty face.

And you know what I do?I just stab them in the front and then throw them out of my life.

I feel if I had not had those bitter lessons in my college life,I would have not been assertive.I would have just stood weak wondering how to move on in life.

No wonder God tells us that everything has a purpose in life.Thank God I met them early in my life and my bunch of friends love me as if I am their soul-mate.

Related Read :

Seasons of Friendship

Mujhse Dosti Karoge?

Is Hating Somebody a Bad Thing?

Male Gods,Female Gods and Real God(s)

I was reading about the scandal of Nithyananda couple of minutes back.After reading the article,I realized that even I also studied in a “God’s school”.

It was then I realized that even I studied in this so called charitable God’s school.

My school was a pure business venture of our God.Here are some highlights.

  • Our school fee was higher than the other private schools in the town.
  • We were not allowed to buy notebooks from outside.The notebooks distributed in our school costs Rs.30 where ordinary notebooks cost Rs.5-Rs.15 in shops.The speciality of the notebook was that our God’s photo was printed on both sides of the notebook.I remember one of our teachers scolding a kid for using ordinary notebooks.
  • Teachers are devotees of our school God.So they preach most of the time.Many of the male teachers join the school as ‘Brahmacharis‘ and then come to school one fine morning with their family.
  • Male teachers molest physically matured girls by giving tuitions or spiritual advices.Most of these teachers and peons are still retained in the school as they are great devotees of the ‘God’.One such issue happened in my batch and school management trasferred that b*****d teacher to another school.(to molest more?)
  • There was/is a magazine published from the God’s head office.School management make students sell the old magazines during the God’s visit to the school as the school premises will be crowded with devotees.Students are divided in such way that they cover the entire area of the ‘God Coming’ celebration.They are given proper target on how much old magazines should be sold in a day.Couple of days before the God’s visit,management even give classes to students(5th std – 10th std) on how to pick feasible customers.Some smart students are given magazine subscription forms so that during the selling of magazines,devotees can subscribe as well.
  • Half of the brahamacharis (both male and female) joining there,drop out and get married in another couple of months.If asked they have reason ready to spit it out,’God told us to marry’.WTH!!!
  • 95% of hard core devotees belong to the upper class of the society.They visit the school or Ashram during the ‘God Coming’ celebration and throw cash in the name of charity,get themselves photographed by cleaning some utensils or table and then escape.
  • I have visited God’s private room at the ashram next to our school.It is a wonderful lounge with all the 5 – star facilities.
  • When the God comes to visit us,the water God drinks comes from a purifier with some high technology.
  • The foreign devotees carry a counter machine in their hands.Not just foreign people,some of our teachers too.The use of the counter is to know how many times they called the God’s name.Phew!!
  • The God comes in an air-conditioned caravan(10 years back) with escorts.
  • Jewellery section is the most wonderful one.It ranges from finger rings and pendants  with God’s picture on it,wrist band or chain out of Rudraksha that with/without gold/silver in between.People are ready to buy if the board says these jewels are specially blessed by the ‘God’. 😛
  • No film songs were allowed during the cultural festival for dance or music events.Instead God’s bhajan’s should be used.
  • When we get high quality branded cloth from Bombay Dyeing or Raymond,school people will force students to buy some devotee gave away uniform cloth that too for a higher rate.
  • Magazine subscription is a must as long we are in the school.
  • Family and school inject an impression in the kid’s mind that ‘God’ is everything even above the family.Once one of my friends told me that ‘God’ is important for her than her parents and I shouted at her asking whether the ‘God’ will take vacation from office and sit with her when she is sick.

Now is this God or a business tycoon??

Then where is the real God??

God & I

This post is the after effect of commenting on Zaira‘s post.

Like every kid I was scared of God during my childhood.I was afraid whether he/she will blow my head if I break a promise or he/she will make me blind if I lie.Then after risking some of the above mentioned situations,I understood that God is not that jobless to pry on me.

It was during my teens,I made friendship with God.I could talk about anything and everything under the sun to him/her.Though I was the epitome of arrogance and ego,I was a simple girl in front of the God.I will make sure that before I tell him/her everything before I sleep.I used to tell how happy I was after topping the class,how jealous I was when I see somebody smarter than me.I used to crib and pester God when I am sad,I even used to bribe God to make things come in my way.

It was in my 9th std,I read somewhere these lines.

“God help people who help themselves”

It was this line which changed my life altogether.I stopped fighting with God for not making my wish happen even after offering him/her so much.I realized that unless I put in the effort to help myself,things are not going to come under my control.

I changed.I changed my perception.I changed my false beliefs.I changed my habits.I changed for the good.

I started feeling that life is under my control.Things are coming in the way I wanted.

I am not religious so I don’t believe in religion,I do pray but I don’t have a habit of going to temples or lighting lamp at home.But I believe in God.For me God doesn’t have religion, country,empire,palace,servants,shape,size,gender,color,complexion,family,gene,wealth…

For me God is a strength inside and around me.At times my family is my God,at times my brother is my God,some other times just another person who saves me from hitting a vehicle in traffic is my God,when I am sick doctor is my God …

For me God is within me,within you and around us..

Dyslexia,Roads and I

Do you remember the movie Taare Zameen Par and the stupid disease Dyslexia?

It was Geetha miss,my maths teacher,who discovered that I am dyslexic at std 6.She found out that my mind calculations are correct which resulted in writing the correct answer in the answer sheet where as she could see an entirely different one in my rough work column.At that age,not even my parents bothered about it.So was I.

But when I reached 12th std I understood,how badly it can affect the marks.But still I scored 100 in maths in both 10th std and 12th std 😀 The terrible part was during the preparations of entrance examinations.I read 5243 from the question paper and writes 5423 in the calculation sheet.But looks like God was kind enough to get me through it without much struggle.

Leaving the academics,dyslexia come in the role of the main villain when I have to cross the roads.

Crossing the road is the toughest task for me.It will take at least ten minutes for me to cross the road by my own.It is because I can’t cross the road between the moving vehicles.So I will wait till the road is clear of vehicles.

The best background music for my road crossing is the Dance Pe Chance song from Rab Ne Bana De Jodi.

“Left leg aage aage, right leg peeche peeche,Aaja yaar lets start ve ..”

 I keep two steps forward thinking of crossing the road,then some vehicle will be nearing me.So I will step backwards.By the time I calculate the SDT(Speed,Distance and Time) and plot a graph in my mind,road must have become too crowded.

So I have no other way but to smile for my embarrassment session.Most of the time,I play this “step in front..step back’ dance which will make me a laughing-stock for the people who are waiting at the bus stop.But one good thing about surviving this session is that some “uncles” or “brothers” will feel pity watching me trying to cross the road for 10 minutes.They will cross the road from the other side,make the vehicles stop and help me in getting to the other side of the road.Though I will be burning with embarrassment,I will not forget to give a helpless smile to them. 😦 😦

At last I found out a solution for this problem.Whenever I want to cross the road I will check out whether a crowd is waiting to cross the road.Since almost all the roads are one-way in Chennai,we need to concentrate on only one side.I will stand in the middle of the crowd.As I am tiny it is easy for me to squeeze inside a crowd :)When they are crossing the road,I will also walk with them.I will not look at the vehicles that are approaching us.If I do,then again my calculations will start and I may make the vehicles in a messed up condition. 😀 😀 😀 :

My brother and Dad go crazy watching me cross the road.In this condition,how it will be if I drive a car??I do have a driving license but since my dear ones are not interested in having night mares,they just don’t allow me to drive. 😦 😦

More solutions  on crossing the roads are welcome.(Don’t tell me to use zebra crossing 😛 )

Image Courtesy :


You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of – Jim John

Today morning while getting ready for office,I was watching a Malayalam movie named “Sandharbham” starring Mammootty and Saritha.The story is about a guy who was a pervert during his early twenties but became a good man after getting married to Saritha.Under certain circumstances he got caught by the police and that incident will turn his life upside down..

I couldn’t watch the movie completely as I was getting late to office..but the scenes in the movie just made me ponder over so many things..

Circumstances..that is one thing which makes a human good or bad,makes life good or bad,makes the path we take good or bad,makes a man change….

But,it is these circumstances;good or bad,that make changes in our life;again good or bad..Without a change how terrible and tiresome our live would have been..we need changes in our is the good changes that make us feel happy and it is the bad changes that make us strong..

But the problems happen when we become selfish during the good changes and become helpless during bad times..

We hear from elders during childhood that great men have overcome the bad circumstances and have handled the good circumstances well..that is the reason they are great people..As usual I always used to let it go through the other ear without heeding..

But when changes played their drama in my life i realised the meaning of those words..I realised how difficult it is not to be selfish during good times and how terrible and hard to keep the drowning life back to place..

There is one thing that I learned during all these years of life..that bad times will make you a strong person,once you overcome those years of hardship then you are the commander of the life..the control will be in your hands;at least a bit..

After years,when you look back about the difficult times in life,we will laugh with tears,we will give a deep sigh of satisfaction and pride thinking about the courage we showed to make our life straight..

For whomever having a bad time in their life

Never give up at any point of time.There is a light at the end of this hardship.If you give up now then you will miss the treasure of your life..may it is the biggest happiness that is waiting for you..Be strong..make your mind strong,take it as a challenge with God and show him how you succeeded in taking back your good times of life..

Coming back to movie,I don’t know what happened to Mammooty in the movie.. 

 But in our life,always be optimistic.Always think that there are another set of population having more problems and bad times than us in their lives..Remember this..

We feel that our problems are the most severe ones when we are ignorant about other’s problems.

So thank God for giving a chance in your life for knowing that pain in life..And if you overcome it,then you are the hero of the world,hero of your life too..

There is nobody in this world without problems or worries..Be strong and believe in yourself.Thank God and all the helping hands made you come from that deep sh*t.



It is your life and you are the master of it..Live the life to the fullest 🙂

Good luck!!