My Blunders with Women – Part 2

This is a guest post by Joshi Mukard.Read Part 1 of the story here.


Six years back in Bangalore, I started my career as a call center executive.  The call center job only lasted for a very short period. But with the experience I gained from the call center, I went on to become a language trainer in one of the training centers. That was where I met the most straightforward and boldest girl I have seen in my life so far. She was from Qatar. The purpose of joining the training was to increase her fluency in English. Second week into the training she complained that my style of teaching English was not good (it still is not any better). I tried to teach her the way she wanted to be taught. In this process, we got to talk a lot about ourselves and one day she told she likes me, but she wouldn’t be interested in the words ‘Love’ and ‘Wedding’. She told she’s only interested in getting ‘physical’. That time I was already engaged to my fourth love. But since she was only interested in a no-strings-attached physical relationship, I agreed. The deal was too good to be turned down.

She was a tall and well-built girl with very large and fearsome eyes. No one dared to look straight into her eyes. It was like her eyes would burn you alive – such powerful eyes. Even I found it very hard to keep up eye-contact with her. But in fact she was a bubbly good-humored girl with tinge of eccentricity.

We anxiously waited for the day that would have us finally locked in a state of ecstasy. But that day never came. (I know this part would remind you of one of the episodes in Khushwant Singh’s ‘The Women In My Life’ but it is purely coincidental). One day she called me in my mobile and told she’s leaving India for good the next morning. She told she would get in touch with me once she’s back in her country, but that was the last time I heard her voice.

The same training center would play witness to one another interesting episode. This time the girl was a senior teacher, but quite junior to me in terms of age. She was in love with a guy she met via Internet chatting. I advised her of the ill effects of an internet relationship, but she didn’t pay heed. She trusted him with all her heart. On the day she finally met him in person and she took me along to take a look at him and judge his character. I didn’t like him straightaway. He looked like a sly and shady character. When we returned I told her what I thought of him. But she wasn’t willing to believe me.  

Apparently the guy also didn’t like her for some reason. From that day onwards he rarely picked up her calls. He stopped messaging, and logged off from internet as soon as she logged in. She would come to my desk and cry for hours. To console her, I used to call him and beg him to call her number and talk to her for at least 2 minutes a day. He would call for two days and then the calls would stop, and she would start wailing. This went on for months. Then, finally the relationship broke for good, and then, the interesting thing happened. She asked me whether I can be her boyfriend until my marriage. (As I told in the previous story, I was engaged at that time). And for the first time in my life, I got to reject a girl. She was like a kid sister to me, and I couldn’t image being her boyfriend. Also, her offer was not out of love or anything else – she just wanted somebody as boyfriend for namesake. I wonder whether she ever really loved the internet guy – for her a boyfriend is just a fancy idea.

We are still in good terms. I get to talk to her over the phone sometimes. She found a new boyfriend soon after the first one. She broke from that guy as well and hanged out with another one.  Last time I spoke to her, she told she got a job in a bank and now she’s placed in Chennai.

Most recently in my life, I met the perfect my-type-of-girl. She is fun-loving, honest, sensible and a good company in everything I would like to do in life; travelling, photography and getting drunk – sometimes.  The first time I saw her, I thought she would be an arrogant and headstrong girl, and I didn’t like her at all. But my opinion changed the moment I saw her firm lips broke into a beautiful smile. It took a while – maybe a month, to get to see that smile, and I had to earn it just like a Bourneville. And once it started coming, it came in abundance and transformed every moment I spent with her into a joy ride. Had I met her before I got married (or rather before I met my wife), I would have dropped on to my knees (the only girl who would have sent me crawling on my knees) and proposed. But then, she being a sensible and clear-headed girl, would have rejected me royally. Because I don’t fit into any of the criteria her father has.

Now let me tell you about the simplest and the most complex affair of all. In 1998 I joined college for my bachelor degree. In the middle of third semester I befriended a girl from the same class. Our likes and dislikes were completely different and what interested me wasn’t interesting to her, but as we were classmates our friendship developed in due course, and much to our own surprise, culminated in madly falling in love with each other. But still I had a feeling our affair wouldn’t go beyond the college years, but it went further beyond, in fact 7 years beyond college and finally ended in marriage.

Despite our conflict of interest in many things, what worked for us when we were just lovers, and what is still working for us 5 years into marriage is our willingness to tolerate each other. I’m an extremely irresponsible husband but she puts up with me, and she’s a sensitive short-tempered girl and I know how to put out the fire in her head.

For the last 12 years, each morning has been a wonderful start, and in the course of the day, we fight, we fall in love again, we argue, we remain silent, we tolerate, we go to bed a happy couple. Life has been pleasant so far. Our differences still remain as differences, but we know we simply cannot live without each other.

Here’s a recent photo of my wife:

She’s the one who turned the wheel of fortune in my life. When we were in college, she was extremely popular because she was the college singer. But nobody knew me outside my class. Through her I became known to others. All through our college days, I was only referred as Libena’s (her name) boyfriend. She is my fourth love but the only girl to have fallen in love with me.  She was in fact the main character in our love story – I played only a supporting role. Her friends even questioned her wisdom of falling in love with such a loser (I was a kind of loser then) like me, but she stuck on. Her parents asked her to change her mind about getting married to me, but she refused. After marriage she installed a ‘dream’ in my head and her persistence made me grow higher in my career.  The little success I have had in life so far is all because of her. She’s simply more than what I deserve.


P.S: I do have scores of other friends, including the one whose name I gave to my daughter, but I do not have anything interesting to write about them. They are all super good people, and they all have a place in my heart. Let me also take this moment to thank my blogger friends whom I have never met, but have been immense inspiration in the virtual world; Bhavia, Purba, Nivedita.

My Blunders with Women – Part 1

This is a guest post written by Joshi Mukard.Do you love laughing holding your stomach and rolling on the floor?If yes,do visit Joshi’s Tomato Blog.He is the guru of sarcasm and humor posts.Now sit back and read his “interesting” blunders with women.

Thank you Joshi!!


When Bhavia asked me to write a guest post under the title ‘My blunders with Women’, I happily accepted the chance without even thinking twice. I thought it is my kind of topic, but then when I actually started on it, I really could not think of any blunders except for one petty incident.

This happened in my first company almost 5 years back. She was my team mate, but she was a very quiet girl who kept herself to herself. We rarely got her talking, but she always smiled.  The ‘incident’ happened in the first team party organized by the company after she joined the team. Most of us were drunk and we were dancing, and at one corner of the dance floor, I saw this girl – let me call her ‘S’ as her name starts with this letter, dancing really wildly with one of her female friends. I just couldn’t believe what I saw. For ‘S’ being an extremely introvert girl, we didn’t even expect her to attend the party, but then there she was, twisting and moving her body both sensuously and artistically to the tunes. I called my friends and showed them the ‘rare’ sight. They were far too drunk, they didn’t pay any real attention to her and moved off, but me, dumbfounded and moonstruck, kept starring at her more in sheer disbelief than lust. Then, suddenly her friend, who was dancing with her walked straight to me and asked “what are you staring at?” in a real intimidating tone. She said, “I want to talk to your team lead”. My team lead was standing next to me and happened to overhear her, told her, “take it easy, he’s drunk”. But I wasn’t drunk and when I tried to explain my act to him, he simply dismissed it by telling, “Forget it man, I’m happy atleast you have gained enough courage to stare at girls”. ‘S’ never complained and continued to smile, but her friend who also joined my team a little while after the incident, we never saw eye-to-eye.

Perhaps the above mentioned story is the only blunder I ever did. Maybe I’m just too lucky not to get into an awkward situation, or I simply know how to keep myself within the limits. Whatever it is, I never really got into any trouble with any girl.

But since the post looks too small, I would like to extend this under the title, ‘The Girls I Met in Life’. This is going to be a long read, but I assure you, my readers, none of you will be bored. I have many good female friends, but here, I intent to talk about my several love affairs and some interesting friends.

Falling in love has never been difficult for me. But I’m neither romantic nor have the good looks to land girls, so being rejected is a common result. But I’m not the type who would fret about rejection. I never took a drop of alcohol or grew beard just because a girl rejected me. There’s a saying, “the best way to forget about a lost love, is to fall in love again” and that’s what I always did.

There’s another saying, “first love and first kiss will always stay fresh in your memory”. My first kiss came at the age of 21 with my fourth love, whom I happened to marry, so my wife’s the only girl I ever kissed – I do remember when and where it happened, only vaguely though. But my first love is still fresh in my memory. I was in 12th STD and she was in 10th. I was friends with a few of the boys from her class, so I used to visit their class during lunch intervals and got to see her. One of the friends there was in love with her and I was assisting him with suggestions and advice on how to win her heart. But eventually I fell in love with her myself and started to work behind the back of the other guy. She co-operated with her beautiful eyes and occasional smile.

Time flew past, and soon we came to the end of the school year. On the last exam day, I wrote a huge love letter and gave it to one of her friends and asked her to hand it over to my girl. That proved to be a huge mistake (ha, one more for ‘blunder’). The girl did give the letter to her, but also informed the ‘other guy’ about my antics. The ‘Other Guy’ was enraged. He went straight to the girl and demanded an answer. I later came to know that she told him that she only liked me. But the twist was that the ‘Other Guy’ was also her relative and he threatened her that the affair will be told to her father. She cried and told him she will give back the letter to me. But the guy grabbed the letter from her and took photocopy of it and circulated amongst his classmates. (Lite note: I didn’t get a copy and I didn’t want to ask the guy for the original. I don’t remember what I wrote in that letter – a copy would have helped to recollect the memory).  Sensing that the situation had gone out of hand, the next wise step was to say “escape”. I did just that. I left the place instantly and rushed to the bus stand. Later I was told that a group of thugs, the ‘Other Guys’ friends were searching for me after I left. When I was waiting for the bus, the girl also made her way to the bus stop and seeing me she quickly signaled me that she wanted to talk to me. We rushed into the first bus we got, but a large crowd of people also got into the bus and I was pushed towards the back and she went further in front. The very last chance to talk to her thus got squashed. When she got down in her stop, her eyes searched for me in the crowd. When her eyes finally found mine, it was already filled with tears.

I do not know what she wanted to tell me. In our hometown and especially in schools a boy talking to a girl other than his classmates is like a major crime. So I never got to talk to her. Not a word ever was spoken between us. Only our eyes spoke.

It still pains a lot when I remember the final scene. With tears rolling down her beautiful cheeks, she bid farewell as the bus started moving away from her stop. I never saw her again.

The second and the third affairs ended as quickly as it had started. Both girls rejected me point blank. One told she already had a boyfriend which was a lie and the other one told, on my face, that she didn’t like me. So I simply moved on to the fourth one which turned out to be ‘life changing’. More on this story in the last section.

To be continued…

Another classic blunder by him is here.How I managed to forget my wife’s birthday every year and still be alive