My Brother,Prasun

Trust me!!

I didn’t like him when he was born.Though I loved to touch his soft and pink fragile body,I hated him when he stole the show for next one year in our family.Guests came home with toys and gifts for him and they left home with a smile for me.duhh!!

I don’t know how but when I try to his toys he will cry badly inviting any of the elders to shout at me.

Though he looked cute,it was difficult for me to accept the fact.I never reciprocated his smiles or pats.My tiny brain made plans to hurt him but after the mission execution I realized that he got more care from parents when I fought with him.So I had to stop hurting him.

The jealousy seed inside me got uprooted when he called out my name even before learning to say “Amma(Mom in Malayalam)”.The saliva dripped call made me weep out of joy making me realize how much I loved him.

I am lucky to have him in life because I still wonder how come he never had any problems being in my shadow.Actually he was happy when everybody addressed him as “Bhavia’s brother” throughout his school days.He never complained when I got to use all new things and later I passed it on to him.The 3-years age gap between us was actually a boon for as I got him as my best friend at an early stage of my life.It was easy to share our views and secrets.Even today,he is one of the two persons to whom I can tear my mask of ego.

I don’t believe in horoscopes,but there was a prediction in his horoscope about a premature death at the age of 12 which my parents secretly feared.The fear turned into a bitter truth when the jaundice viruses took his body for permanent settlement.My 10th std classes took an abrupt break due to the visits to hospital.The darker we saw the yellow color in his bath towels and his clothes,the weaker we became.Our life became sixes and sevens that nobody cared about anything;not even about food.I saw my Mom growing thinner as days passed.My Dad looked like a zombie lost in his thoughts finding it difficult to manage both work and emotions.I struggled to concentrate in my classes as I had only Prasun’s face in my mind.

My heart missed a beat when my Dad came home with a medical report saying Prasun has stopped responding to the medicines and there are higher chances of losing him in a couple of days.I became numb that I couldn’t even cry or console my Dad who was weeping into my hands.We wondered how to tell Mom about the reports.It was sure that she won’t survive it.I cannot explain how much I cried and prayed that night sitting inside the pooja room.Next day morning my Dad was shocked to see me lying down on the pooja room floor with high fever.I was ready to give up anything to get him back in my life.I made a million promises to God so that Prasun gets cured.Knowing the bitter truth and facing him was terrible for us.Moreover,we cannot show the secret to Mom.I looked at him without blinking as I don’t want to miss him even for a second.Everytime I kissed him or touched him,I was scared whether I will be able to do so again.Doctors gave us no hopes.They stopped medicines and injections.Dad and I took special care to keep Mom away during doctor’s vists.Prasun’s condition became worse but we were not ready to lose the hope.

Somehow God was kind to us.We don’t know what happened or how it happened.Doctor’s were surprised to see him recovering even after stopping the medicines.Prasun started recovering slowly.He came back to our lives.From then onwards,I have never let him go far from me.

Even after being at our early twenties,we still cuddle each other,a warm hug can still make us forget the fight which we had ten minutes before and though we have lots of friends we still remain best friends for each other.

Though he became a software engineer who puts a serious face at times,it is difficult for me to believe that he is not my “kid” brother anymore.Last week when I saw him pulling my legs over some stupid things,I couldn’t stop thinking about how my life would have been if God was not kind enough to give him back to us.

It is great to have you in my life baby.

Happy Raksha Bandhan!!!

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Blood is thicker than Water..

How many of our habits of our childhood will stay with us as we grow? Five? Two? One? Zero?

As far as I can remember, my parents used to buy lots of books for me. My parents have been ardent readers and eventually I turned into a book-worm.

I am happy that at least one of my childhood habits is still there in me.

Yesterday (12/29/2009), while reading the national daily, The Hindu, I read a story in the YOUNG WORLD. The story is about a girl jealous of her kid brother. It’s her birthday and he is stealing the show. In the end, her kid brother made her the happiest person on her birthday.

After reading, I felt like it was my story. Two decades back, when my brother was born, I lost all the enthusiasm that I had before his birth. Before he was born, it was my favorite pastime to heed hard by pressing my small face on my Mom’s tummy to check whether he was making any sounds. I loved those soft kicks he made to make us know that, like us, he was eager to us too. I will tell the bunch of guests visiting my Mom that I was going to have a kid brother. (I still wonder how I decided by myself that it would be a baby boy). My parents were little tensed seeing my stubborn wish to have a brother.

But once he made entry into my family, he became my “villain”. Everybody was behind him.

“so cute”..”, “so chubby”… These were some of the frequent dialogues which would ring in my ear round the clock. Nobody cared about me. Everyone who came home was eager to cuddle and kiss him. My eclipsed face showed others how unhappy I was. To make matters worse, the guests teased me saying I was jealous of my brother. And I was hurt.

I noticed that he was getting toys which were not there for me. Everyone at home cared only about him. At last I declared him as my “villain” of life.

But, I don’t know how things changed. I started liking his company once he started laughing and giggling. His smile was so cute. Yes!!! he was very cute. I was blind with my jealousy that I couldn’t make out how cute he was.

hatred.. 

hatred.. 

hatred.. 

hatred.. 

love.. 

love.. 

love.. 

Once during summer vacation,when five of cousin sisters were at home;my mom was shouting us for not taking the snacks.

One of the guests who had come that evening had brought some cookies.My mom told my brother to offer a piece to me saying “give a bite to your sister..”Then my naughty cousin sisters played a prank by telling him that they were his sisters.They tried their best to get the cookie from him.But he turned his face every time they told him that they were his sisters.In the end of the struggle,he called me “ole” for the first time – a shortened version of my pet name.

I was the happiest person on earth that day and I cried out of joy.

Once my cousin sisters were home for spending their summer holidays. My mom was shouting us for not having the evening snacks.

One of the guests who had come that evening had brought some cookies and cakes. My mom told my brother to offer a piece to me saying “give a bite to your sister”. Then, my naughty cousin sisters played a prank by telling him that they were his sisters. They tried their best to get the cookie from him. But, he turned his face every time they asked him for the cookie. In the end of the struggle, he called me “ole” for the first time – a shortened version of my pet name.

I was the happiest person on earth that day and I cried out of joy.

From that moment to the present, how far did life take us. From a younger brother to an elder brother, from a brother to a best friend, from a companion to a guardian.

There were times when I travelled home every weekend so that I can spend a day with him. There were times when I used to count the seconds to wish him first on his birthday. There was a time when my life was a mess and he was there beside me.

I know that even if my life turns upside down or if the world deceives me, I can always escape to him. I know that he will be there at the other end to hug me tight and make sure that everything is fine. I know that he will be there forever changing his roles and responsibility as time passes.

Do you know why?

Because…

 

Blood is THICKER than water 🙂