The “Others”

As you must have already guessed,the content of the article is about “Others”..

Now you must be wondering who this “others” are..”Others” could be anyone..Anyone from your parents and friends to a stranger who is walking on the road..

Before getting into the real issue, I would like to cite some scenarios..

1)A very beautiful girl is truly in love with someone who is not handsome and who is dark too..She has not told him about her love and she doesn’t want to marry someone else too..But all she bothers is “What will others think??”

2)A middle class family man is thinking about buying a car.But according to his standards,he could buy only a Nano or a Maruthi Zen for a second hand.But he is reluctant..He has been discarding all the pressures from his kids and wife..He is think twice about buying small cars because he is worried “What will others think?”.

3)Daughter of a business person is getting married to a poor guy(poor according to her dad’s standards 😛 )The groom promised the business person that he will keep her daughter safe and happy.Even the daughter assured the business person that she will be happy in her life..But the business person is thinking about ways to somehow break the marriage because he doesn’t want other people talking about it..Again what that make him awake all the night is “What will others think?”

4)She was working with one of the prestigious companies..But recession made her lose the job..She didn’t tell any of her friends after taking up a small job,thinking that “What we will others think about her???”

Let me ask you something??Why are we worried about this “OTHERS”?

When we are born,we are alone..To be very truthful we are always alone throughout our life..From the start of our life till your last breath,you are always alone..

As a kid,you may fall while playing..Then you are hurt..you are in pain.Its YOU..

At school,according to the way YOU do,you will get good or bad experiences..Good memories and good friends will cherish your life..bad moments and broken friendships will hurt you..Its you who is happy or hurt..

During college days,you work hard,you study well,you prepare well which will make you land in a good job..Its is YOUR hard work..

After getting a job,all the hours that you burn in the office will give you the good name you are seeking for or a promotion which will deserve you..Its YOU who will burn your time and energy..

The same scenarios will follow the rest of the life too..

It’s always YOU..

Now,you may ask..then for what parents,siblings and friends are..

Can our parents or siblings or friends study in school instead of you going to school?

Can they completely take out the pain you undergo during bad times??

Suppose you are suffering from blood cancer..Is it possible for any of them to come and take your suffering instead of you??

NO!!!!!!

You are always ALONE throughout your life..

Parents,siblings and good friends..They will help you to soothe things in life..They will help you to walk more confidently and comfortably during your bad times..

So,all we have to care about is the ones who help us in our life..

Coming back to the main issue..If the truth is this,then why are people afraid of others??who are they to control your life?

Why should my beautiful friend worry about talking about her love,when she is in love with somebody who will take care of her??Why should the family man kill the happiness of his kids and wife when he could buy a small car??Why is the business person trying to make his daughter’s life upside down even when he knows that she will be happy???Why is my friend not proud when there a millions without a job and she managed to get a small one during recession??

why do we burn the happiness in our life for “others”??why are we scared of them???Do these so-called “others” help you at any point of time??Will these “others” make your life comfortable??

When these “others” do NOTHING for you,why should you bother about them??Also even after this much importance and bothering you give them in life,are they actually going to discuss about your life and condition???In this busy world who is having time to bother about you when,they have a 1001 things to do??

Relax guys!!!Live for yourself..Do what you love..Love all that you do..You have only one life..be happy and be satisfied at the dusk of your life that you have lived a LIFE for you and your dear ones and not for “OTHERS”.. 🙂

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A related piece

In Chennai,while traveling in share auto you will have to shout at top of your voice before your stop coming to make the driver stop the auto..I have a friend who will never shout out the place..she will either find any of the passengers to shout for her or when she is lucky enough there must be somebody else already shouted for her place or she will get down at the next stop..

Reason from her : ‘What will other people think about my voice??It is not sweet”..

(I am not sure that there are actually such jobless people in this world to bother whether her voice is sweet like singers Chitra or Shreya Ghosal 😛 😛 😛 )

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Being at the Other Side

“We are told from childhood onwards that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it’s still there”*

It is always very human to always have a tinge of pain because of the “grass is always greener at the other side”.

When I was a child,I used to think how nice it would have been if I was born in US or UK..Almost every time I used to think,how it would be if I were x or y..It was a habit for me to think about being somebody..May be that made me not realizing what I was actually having in my life..It took another 10 years for me to understand that I was born with all the comforts and freedom.My parents were the best I could ever think about..But the thought or the habit of thinking from the other side used to make me feel horrible..

Later,during my college days I came to know that it was not just with me..the whole world is as such..People just think or believe that the other person’s life is the best;not realizing that these people have a better life than others..

I remember that we friends were jealous of one the most studious girls in our batch..we used to wonder how she is managing everything..She study or don’t study,she will top the department..There were even talks during the exam night outs “Ho!How nice it would have been if I were Miss X”.But it was towards the end of the college we came to know that though she had a wealthy family,her father is not with her..She belongs to a broken family.. 😦 That was the first strike of realization that thought I don’t top the department,at least I have my family to love me..I have my Dad to cry on when I am down..It was almost similar stories that I could know about so many others that my friends and I used to think as the “perfect ones”.There been a lot of incidents that made me think “Waah!!What a life!!!” and then make me feel terrible and happy together when I know their inside story..

May be because the mind grew up by the end of the college days that we were intelligent enough to take things sensibly..Like the story of Alchemist,we understood that we are given everything;actually more than a child need in life..

No wonder,every religious book tell us that we are souls who try to find out happiness and peace when it is within our own hands..

“So that everyone will search for his treasure, find it, and then want to be better than he was in his former life. Lead will play its role until the world has no further need for lead; and then lead will have to turn itself to gold. “That’s what alchemists do. They show that, when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.” “Well, why did you say that I don’t know about love?” the sun asked the boy. “Because it’s not love to be static like the desert, nor is it love to roam the world like the wind. And it’s not love to see everything from a distance, like you do. Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World. When I first reached through to it, I thought the Soul of the World was perfect. But later, I could see that it was like other aspects of creation, and had its own passions and wars. It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in with be either better or worse, depending on whether we become better or worse. And that’s where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are”*

Dig in your soul and find out the treasure that God has given you..Beacuse you are a better human being than anybody else in this world..Understand..Realize..and Feel the happiness.. 🙂

*Source ; The Alchemist – By Paulo Coelho

Let their beliefs save them

Note : We all have our own beliefs and it is not wrong to be this way as long as it is sane and not harmful.This post is not intended to hurt anybody’s beliefs.

Half an hour back,while having a chat with Priya over the coffee,one strange topic came up all in a sudden..

She asked me about the “small cylinder like thing” which many of the mallus often wear..

Only while answering her,I realised that I have never worn anything of that kind..But,of course,I have seen those golden “cylinders” worn as a jewellery,mostly by girls..

Once in school,out of curiosity,I asked one of my friends about the reason behind this..

(I will never get the answer for such a question from my parents because they don’t encourage these kind beliefs and of course the reason that I don’t believe in most of the customs)

So coming back to the answer from my friend,I was told that the “cylinder” is worn to get rid of ghosts..(GHOSTS!!! I wish to see one 😛 )

Then started the real debate..

I was in a girls’ only school for two years and this debate happened there..

You could imagine the enthusiasm of some girls to argue over this topic.Here are few interesting answers which I heard during the heated rage..

1)Our death date is written in a paper and it is that paper rolled and kept inside the “golden cylinder”.Also if we open that “cylinder” then we will die that moment..

Waah!!!What an intelligent preists?Of course people will never try to open it fearing death and nobody is going to know what is inside it..

2)There is a chemical filled in it.The one who gave this answer was from a royal blood.. 😮 So this was worn to suicide when they were captured in war..

Suicide bombers must have taken their idea from her family i guess 😛

3)If we pray by holding the “golden cylinder”,whatever we wished will happen..

I wonder why she never topped the class or was at least good in any field  😦

After all this dramatic debate,one of my friends and I decided to open this much hyped “cylinder jewellery”

But,the problem was,there were no volunteers..

After so much of brain washing I made one of my best buddies to come forward,assuring her by saying “I am there for you and nothing will happen to you” 😛  😀

I had to use compass,divider,steel ruler and safety-pin to open it..

Tuck..

It opened it.I thought she may faint.But she didnt.She was all pale..looked like the best candidate for the fair&lovely Ad.. 😉

There was a paper roll inside it..girls started screaming..The one who argued against the death date was the one who jumped the more..if i remember correctly the opponent to the “death date” argument remained silent..as if she was waiting for my best buddy’s demise 😦 

I took the paper roll with the safety pin..opened wondering whether it was truly the death date..(To be truthful,I was little scared after seeing the paper inside it 🙂 )

The paper looked like many of our brains..he he..empty..nothing was written on it..just a piece of paper..

The whole class screamed..i have no clue whether it was out of joy or for something else..

Phew!!!I was relieved..moreover I was happy that I was true about it.. 😛

And..that was the last day I saw the “golden cylinder” worn by my best buddy 🙂 🙂 🙂

PS : Most of these beliefs have psychological effects on us.We always tend to believe what our parents tell us when we are young.If they are superstitious then the kids will grow up that way.All we could do is to find out the truth behind everything before believing things.If jewlleries like this could do wonders,then why did great personalities had to work hard to make their lives??

 

Circumstances

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of – Jim John

Today morning while getting ready for office,I was watching a Malayalam movie named “Sandharbham” starring Mammootty and Saritha.The story is about a guy who was a pervert during his early twenties but became a good man after getting married to Saritha.Under certain circumstances he got caught by the police and that incident will turn his life upside down..

I couldn’t watch the movie completely as I was getting late to office..but the scenes in the movie just made me ponder over so many things..

Circumstances..that is one thing which makes a human good or bad,makes life good or bad,makes the path we take good or bad,makes a man change….

But,it is these circumstances;good or bad,that make changes in our life;again good or bad..Without a change how terrible and tiresome our live would have been..we need changes in our life..it is the good changes that make us feel happy and it is the bad changes that make us strong..

But the problems happen when we become selfish during the good changes and become helpless during bad times..

We hear from elders during childhood that great men have overcome the bad circumstances and have handled the good circumstances well..that is the reason they are great people..As usual I always used to let it go through the other ear without heeding..

But when changes played their drama in my life i realised the meaning of those words..I realised how difficult it is not to be selfish during good times and how terrible and hard to keep the drowning life back to place..

There is one thing that I learned during all these years of life..that bad times will make you a strong person,once you overcome those years of hardship then you are the commander of the life..the control will be in your hands;at least a bit..

After years,when you look back about the difficult times in life,we will laugh with tears,we will give a deep sigh of satisfaction and pride thinking about the courage we showed to make our life straight..

For whomever having a bad time in their life

Never give up at any point of time.There is a light at the end of this hardship.If you give up now then you will miss the treasure of your life..may it is the biggest happiness that is waiting for you..Be strong..make your mind strong,take it as a challenge with God and show him how you succeeded in taking back your good times of life..

Coming back to movie,I don’t know what happened to Mammooty in the movie.. 

 But in our life,always be optimistic.Always think that there are another set of population having more problems and bad times than us in their lives..Remember this..

We feel that our problems are the most severe ones when we are ignorant about other’s problems.

So thank God for giving a chance in your life for knowing that pain in life..And if you overcome it,then you are the hero of the world,hero of your life too..

There is nobody in this world without problems or worries..Be strong and believe in yourself.Thank God and all the helping hands made you come from that deep sh*t.

 

 

It is your life and you are the master of it..Live the life to the fullest 🙂

Good luck!!