I need Feminism Because

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I see a society which treats girls and boys differently
I see boys advised not to cry
I see the corporate world which proclaims gender equality at work, refuses to promote women,especially married women and women back after pregnancy
I see  families which boast about forward thinking and modern living,expect the daughter to guard the family’s honor.
I see women including educated and independent (?) still forced to seek permissions to men 
I see women suffering because of other women
I see men refusing blatantly to respect women coworkers
I see men expected to bear a family’s financial burden
I see girls expected to be nice,patient and polite
I see boys expected to be sporty,short-tempered and arrogant
I see colors attached to the genders
I see boy babies are still the preferred ones
I see families lamenting an unmarried girl as a headache
I see a world blaming the girl/woman when she is molested/raped/harassed/assaulted
I see a world teasing rape victims
I see a boy with lots of girls as a friends called a playboy and a girl with lots of boys as friends as a slut
I see a society which sees men who fight for women’s rights as lesser men
I see a society which sees women who fight for women’s rights are laughed at and teased
I see a world discouraging girls from pursuing higher studies just because they are at marriageable age
I would be getting nasty comments on this post after publishing

 

Image courtesy : http://feministai.com

A Friday

Fridays are fun.

Friday mornings are brighter and Friday nights are livelier.

The Chennai city is a beauty during the month of December and commuting makes me feel heaven as I travel with the school kids. As the students are busy with their half-yearly examinations in December, it is a nostalgic scene to see the kids all over the city in the morning. All of them carry a plastic bag in which the wooden/plastic writing board is kept. The projection of pencil box and books could be clearly seen outside the plastic cover. The relief of each exam getting over is clear on their faces. The kids are accompanied by either their Mother or Grand Father. I look into their textbooks, at times into their question papers too and then sigh thinking what an emotional fool I am. Some kids will be very excited to tell me how they multiplied two numbers or how they matched certain monuments to their respective places. Thus the third week of December and March are weeks which I indeed look forward to. The kids bring back a lot of memories and the nostalgic-emotional-heart of mine forces me to regret for not understanding the value of childhood and school days then.

In last December, on the third Friday, a Mother and a boy got inside the share auto. The boy and I became great friends in two minutes. It was his last exam and he showed me his Social Studies question paper and we discussed the answers thoroughly before I predicted his marks. I carry chocolates in my hand bag only with the motive of bribing the kids who travel with me. To celebrate the closing ceremony of examinations and to welcome the Christmas holidays, his Mother had already bought him a chocolate. So to give him company in eating the chocolate, I took one from my bag and started eating. He sat on my lap and we enjoyed the messed up traffic jam licking the chocolate. 

Suddenly, his Mother beat him on his thighs and nobody understood why. Interfering between the Mother and the son didn’t seem like a good idea, so I waited for her to speak up. She sternly asked him why he threw out the chocolate cover through the share auto’s window despite her teaching him that it is wrong.

Then, why are you scolding only me? I did so because I saw her throwing off her chocolate cover through the window.” He said this pointing at me and with mixed emotions.

The Mother rudely looked at me and said nothing. But, all that she wanted to tell me was clear from her face. Her face told me why I am such a fool who doesn’t know how to behave in public despite boasting being educated and employed. I saw the anger on her face about why people like me are not aware that the next generation is watching us.

Truthfully, until that moment I never realized that it was my habit to throw things out of the window while travelling. The boy and his Mother got down one stop before mine. He waved me good-bye and I faked my smile. I didn’t have the guts to look at the Mother’s face. I felt ashamed of myself and I stared at my cell phone.

After getting down from the auto, I walked to my office asking a million questions to myself.

Watch your acts, the kids are watching you.

 

The Truths and Facts Behind the Gibes and Jibes About Kerala

Eight years back when my parents threw me out of the house to study(which I didn’t do) computer science,understand(which confused me) engineering and earn(college granted it) the graduation degree,I never thought then that I would end up making such a post.It is very hard for people outside Kerala to accept me as a Kerala girl as I don’t satisfy most of their criteria for being one.They put me in awkward situations by opening their mouth as big as they can to show their surprise(shock?),asking several(obnoxious) questions about both Kerala and I and praising the looks of people in Kerala(excluding me).Thus I ended up making comic strips to show my clumsy,embarrassing and awkward moments.

PS : I found the below piece posted online(I don’t know who posted it to give the credits)

1.I am not a Mallu, I am a Malayali
2.Shakeela is not from my state
3.Sreesanth is from my state,but I hate him.
4.My mother tongue is not Tamil.
5.I may like Rajnikanth or Shah Rukh Khan,but I always prefer Mohanlal
6.I love cricket,but I love football more
7.I am an Indian;yes Sachin is God
8.All my uncles are not in Dubai
9.I am not always a Nair
10.I am an alcoholic,unless I am gay impotent or just plainly scared of mom.
11.I may or may not be Marxist,but essentially a socialist
12.I may not laugh at your joke.No offenses.Blame it on Jagathy Sreekumar,I have already heard them.
13.You may not laugh at my joke.No offenses.Blame it on Sreenivasan,you would not understand.
14.I am a non vegetarian and yes, I eat beef
15.If you find me and another malayali shouting at each other animatedly at the top of our voices calling each other names,never bother ;we are just having a healthy discussion on Mammootty and Mohanlal.
16.When I was a student,I never bunked.we just called a strike.
17.Yes I use a lungi and play football wearing it.Now you can’t beat that.
18.I don’t understand Kadhakali.
19.I don’t like you much,I may look down upon you.Can’t help it,that is how we are made.
20.When you are talking to me,never mention Poland.Again blame it on Sreenivasan,you wouldn’t understand.

Silence is Beautiful

When was the last time you sat in “COMPLETE” silence?

Last night,during the bed time read,I came across the word “silence” and I asked the question to myself.I couldn’t come up with an answer because I don’t remember when was the last time I sat in complete silence.I even feel that I have never experienced complete silence.

At home,even if I switch off every electronic appliance,I get to hear the noise from the street or the adjacent flat.In office,there is no chance of experiencing slience.Even during the “moment of silence”(In my office,if any of the employee is passed away,we observe two minutes silence),I hear cell phones and extensions ringing non-stop.Temples!!!NO way;so forget about it.Doctor’s place is never silent;meditation centers too.

Now is there any place where I can find silence?

The only option to try is the park next to my place at the break of the dawn.I don’t know how much effort would the nocturnal creäture inside my heart take to wake up early tomorrow.

Silence is indeed beautiful but how do I find it?

Image Courtesy : mclyte.wordpress.com

Distance From BETI to BAHU

Some daughters are lucky to have a wonderful father.He would love her,pamper her and support her very decision.He would bring her up with so much freedom and liberal views.I know such a father since 10 years.Her daughter,6 years elder to me,has done everything that an orthodox Kerala must have not even thought about.She was studious,assertive,bold,travelled alone,married an English guy and now settled in London.

I have always looked upon this father with so much respect that I have felt at times that even my father drew inspiration from him on matters related to me.He would tell everyone that girls are asset to a family.

My heart made arguments against him after I met his son,who is 3 is elder to me,couple of weeks back.He has been a very smart guy since I have known the family.He wanted to marry his girl friend who was with him in one of the top management institutes in India and the father went against his decision.

His girl friend is smart,intelligent,studious,social drinker,modern,atheist and very liberal in her views.She cooks terribly,sings well,holds a fat check job like the guy but she is not a Keralite.

The reasons which his father put forward to cancel the marriage did depress me a lot because I always thought he would treat both his beti and bahu the same.His dream bahu should be

1)not-so-smart-not-so-intelligent(WTF!!His daughter is smart and intelligent.What is wrong in being a smart and intelligent girl?)

2)a good cook(I have never seen his daughter entering in the kitchen and from the Facebook photos,I guess her English husband does most of the household work)

3)traditional and god-fearing(What is his problem with her religious views?Traditional means she should wear sari and walk around?)

4)non-drinker(His daughter drinks,so why such a constrain on the bahu?)

5)holding a small job so that she has time to look after the house(His daughter holds a very high place in a world-famous MNC.If you need somebody to look after your house,get a maid)

And when the guy argued with the father,he replied that beti and bahu are not the same. :-0

Finally,I realized the difference between beti and bahu are not just three letters but much more than that.

Poor guy!! 😦

Edited and updated : The guy is marrying somebody else after emotional pressure from his family.So no point in telling anything now.Forgot to add this piece.Thus it proves that in India even guys are not allowed to take a decision by himself,when it comes to marriage 😦

*Beti – daughter

*Bahu – daughter-in-law

THE Day!!!

I opened my eyes and looked out of the window from my ragged bed.Oh no;it’s still dark outside.I hit my face on the pillow and tried to sleep.Why is the dawn still not breaking?

What time it would be now?I again woke up and searched for Lakshmi akka on the floor.She was snoring which indicated a sound sleep.I crawled up to her and touched her nose to wake her up.She didn’t wake up.I whispered in her ears,’Akka..what time is it now?’

Get lost was the answer for my question.I jumped back to my bed.Ram who was sleeping next to me had taken away all the space in the bed.So I went to the window and stood on a stool to reach the window bars.The moonlight,the stars and cold air took me back to exactly one year.

Last year this day,a lot of people came here with gifts and chocolates.A month before this day,we were asked to write in a paper about the things which we were in need.Unfortunately I wrote  for only pen and notebooks.Ram who wrote for car and train got them as gifts.So this time I made sure to make a long list of things.I wrote for a car,train,crayons,glittering pens which Saranya got last year and a jeans.Tomorrow again some people will come with the gifts.Looks like tomorrow is somebody named Nehru‘s birthday who was India‘s first prime minister and he is no more.But I love this day.It’s been past three years that a group of people coming here every year with gifts.Last year I sang one song and got a big chocolate which I shared only with Ram.We licked it in front of Saranya who was boasting about the glittering pens which she got that day.Phew!!you should have seen her fat face going red with anger when we mocked her with our chocolate.This year I will also get one glittering pen set.Yaaahoo!!

Last year one pretty akka had come to see us.She kissed me and made me sit on her lap throughout the day.I was so happy when she told that I was looking very cute.

But Lakshmi akka was telling me that those people are showing love to us only because we don’t have parents.I didn’t like her when she told me that because the pretty akka told me that she really liked me and even kissed me while leaving from here.I hope she will come tomorrow too.

‘Karthik..Karthik..wake up..Why are you sleeping on the floor?’

‘Don’t you know that there is a function today?Get ready soon.’

While applying the talc I thought about the jeans I was going to get.I was thrilled to show it off  in front Ram and Saranya.

The function started.I searched for my pretty akka but she was missing in the crowd.

One woman came to three of us and said,’oh poor babies..they don’t have parents..don’t worry kids..we have brought you a lot of goodies’

She smelled bad and I didn’t like her.

I was waiting for my name to get called out on the stage.I ran to the podium when they called me to give the gift set for me.

The bad smelled woman gave me the gift and she patted on my head and again said ‘oh poor baby..Happy Children’s Day!!

I felt like kicking her but I had better work to do.

I went and sat next to Ram.I noticed that my gift packet is larger than his packet.We got up and sat on the stone bench to open our packets.

When I opened my box there was little things inside it.There was no train,no glittering pens and no jeans too.It had some notebooks,some pens,pencils and a pencil box.There was a letter inside the notebook cover.

‘I am sorry Karthik.As I was very busy I couldn’t shop much and didn’t get time to buy the things in your list.Anyway happy children’s day!!May God bless you.We all love you and we are praying for you.

With love,
Rita ‘

I looked at Ram.Even he didn’t get the things which he had written for.I kept my head on his shoulders and we both cried together.

On the stage that bad smelled ugly woman was shouting

‘Happy Children’s Day’!!

And we silently cried.

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Not A Story

    Shared by a friend

I was walking around in a Big Bazar store making shopping, when I saw
a  Cashier talking to a boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years
old..

The Cashier said, ‘I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy
this doll. Then the little boy turned to me and asked: ”Uncle, are
you sure I don’t have enough money?”

I counted his cash and replied: ”You know that you don’t have enough
money to buy the doll, my dear.” The little boy was still holding the
doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give
this doll to. ‘It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so
much . I wanted to Gift her for her BIRTHDAY.

I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my
sister when she goes there.’ His eyes were so sad while saying this.
‘My Sister has gone to be with God.. Daddy says that Mommy is going to
see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with
her to give it to my sister…”

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: ‘I
told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I
come back from the mall.’ Then he showed me a very nice photo of him
where he was laughing. He then told me ‘I want mommy to take my
picture with her so my sister won’t forget me.’ ‘I love my mommy and I
wish she doesn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go
to be with my little sister.’ Then he looked again at the doll with
sad eyes, very quietly..

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. ‘Suppose we check
again, if you do have enough money for the doll?”

‘OK’ he said, ‘I hope I do have enough.’ I added some of my money to
his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough
for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: ‘Thank you God for giving me enough money!’

Then he looked at me and added, ‘I asked last night before I went to
sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so
that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!” ‘I also wanted
to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t
dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll
and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses.’

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I
started. I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. Then I
remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a
truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The
little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical
state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the
life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to
recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this meet with the little boy, I read in the news
paper that the young woman had passed away.. I couldn’t stop myself as
I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where
the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make
last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a
beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and
the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling
that my life changed for ever.

The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is
still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a
drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Please DO NOT DRINK & DRIVE.

At Times

“Learn from others’ mistakes too,because it is not possible for you to commit all the mistakes in one life”

Today morning while commuting,I was completely involved in the book “Barsa” written by Dr.Khadeeja Mumtaz.

It was then I realized that somebody was pulling my dupatta.I looked back to see a curious baby boy crawling on the floors of the local train.

He was attracted to the chocolates which I had left in the translucent outer pouch of my hand bag.As he was trying to stand up holding the seat and my dupatta,his mom came near us holding a baby girl.Her eyes too got locked in the chocolates and she also raised her tiny hands pointing my hand bag.

I was about to close my book planning to give the kid a handful of chocolates.Suddenly some reflex passed through my spine telling me not to give toffee to the kid.I was able to realize the reason.So I smiled at him and continued my reading.

Though I had opened my book for reading,I was only looking at the book.Through the corners of my eyes,I could see the women talking about my cold attitude towards that kid.Unlike the usual times,my ears became very sharp that I could hear the whispers in the women compartment very well.

I looked at everyone and took a deep breath.And smiled because I was sure that what I did was correct.

This incident happened a couple of years back.One of my friends was travelling in the local train to her office.She found that a beggar family was standing opposite to her.The kid was untidy but a cute baby boy of 4 years old or so.My friend had lost her baby brother in an accident.Since then she was always fond of baby boys.At times,she used to tell us that she sees her brother in all kids.

As she was carrying some chocolates with her that day,she offered it to the baby boy.He happily took it from her.

When she got down at her station,there was a huge gang of beggars following her and shouting at her to stop walking.

She was surprised to know that they were pointing at her.There was a police officer accompanying them and he came to her and asked what her intentions were.

She was standing numb not understanding the meaning of such a big drama.People started surrounding the scene.It took some minutes for her to realize the exact situation.The mom of the baby boy has complained her gang and police officer that my friend gave her kid some chocolates injected with some sleeping drug.My friend was accused of being a kidnapper.

My friend just couldn’t digest the situation but nobody was giving her a chance to talk.It was then a man came up to the police officer and told that he was a doctor and wants to check the kid.The beggar gang was against it but when the crowd protested they gave up.The doctor went the kid and pinched him out of everybody’s surprise.The kid woke up as it was not there in their plan.Rest of the situation was handled well by the crowd and the police.

My friend still believes that it was God who came in the form of doctor.Once the crowd pounced on the beggar gang,it was kinda stampede.In between that rush,she lost track of him and has never ever found him again.

If such a mistake had not happened to my friend,today even I must have offered the chocolates to the kid.But who knows whether the same situation will happen to me or not.

At times,things go wrong even when we want to do a good deed.But we can’t help it as the world outside is bad.It is not our mistake!!

Tusi Great Ho!!!

I was lazy last night.Curled up inside the quilt before 10pm.I didn’t find anything interesting in the TV but still like majority of the people I changed the channels from 1 to 100.

Suddenly it happened.

POWER went off!!!

Two seconds back,I was happy,I had a smiling face and I was literally in the heaven of laziness.I shouted at myself and lighted the candles.

I started getting irritated.I took the quilt off me and sat on the couch.Phew!!I started sweating.

I tried looking at the candles to divert my irritation.Those candles were costly ones.The candle was fixed inside a glass chamber making the chamber half full.Bottom half of the chamber was filled with a gel which made artistic waves when mixed with the melted wax.

But I couldn’t enjoy the beauty of my cute candles as the mosquito queen ordered her fellows to do a free of cost rock concert at the door of my ears. 😦 😡 😡 😡

I heard the neighbors opening their doors to get some fresh air.The house owner was shouting at the electrician.We had a small family get together at the corridor with everybody complaining about the power problem.The people from the flat opposite to the road must have felt like a candle rally happening in my apartment.

After complaining for ten minutes,we got bored.We got back to our nut shells.I walked inside my house covering the bed rooms and kitchen around ten times,but my irritation only increased.

Then I tried playing songs.But mosquitos played a better songs.

It was 11.45pm.

I was getting terrible headache.I was angry,irritated and exhausted.I beat the cushions on the couch.

It was 11.50pm.

Nothing great happened.

It was 11.55pm.

Expected the electrician to do some miracle.I could hear my house owner shouting at him.So I realized that it is going to be a LONG night.

At last 12.00am.

Cling!!!

Power came.

I thanked Benjamin Franklin for discovering electricity.I thanked all the other big heads who invented and discovered many things for us.

Before going to bed,I prayed.

ELECTRICITY…..Tusi Great Ho!!! 🙂 🙂 😉 😀