Young Indian women are taught by their mothers that men are sex crazy dogs


This is a message which I got in my blog’s Facebook page.I felt that his message should be shared and read by others.So sharing the message as a post with his consent.

Greetings…
This is S, born in India and living in Canada.
Hi, you have a great blog I must say.
I liked your post about I hate being Indian woman.
Indian women are so much repressed that it’s so sad. Who is to blame?? I will tell you from my observation.
The core reason for the degraded status of Indian women in Indian society is the Caste system.I have observed that the only reason why we have arranged marriages in India is to keep the caste system alive. There is no other reason for that and the pride of the family is associated with the female.If people from different caste are allowed to mingle freely, the status of women will improve dramatically. But elimination of caste system won’t happen because it will destroy Hinduism, and don’t even think for a second that in Ancient India the status of women was better .We all know about Droupadi, Sita , Kunti etc…

Indian parents (In India and aboard ) do pay for our tuition fee etc. but the real reason behind is ,by doing this and pampering us with money ,they buy us and make us their obedient dogs. They at the core are extremely evil. And all of this is done, so we will get married in our own caste ( inter-caste marriage cases in upper caste, marrying a lower caste is a BIG NO), so Indian parents do all this to keep their status in the caste society.

I thank Ambedkar who wrote the Indian constitution; he was the first Indian who provided a document to give equal human rights to women, low castes etc. And this is the reason he is hated by upper caste Hindus. India is a Khap country in itself. I can guarantee that there would be hardly 1% of the people who are commenting on your article who would be willing to get their brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, married to someone outside their Castes. I can guarantee that. And as for me, I have told my family from the beginning that I will never get married. All married Indians look depressed and unhappy to me. Till this date every Indian is just silently biased towards me. Hindus at core are superstitious, conservative, orthodox, and stupid. They have a Mob Mentality; they are terrified at the thought of doing anything independently. Even Independence was given to them by BAPU, who took them kicking and screaming and trying to knock sense into them, but they finally bumped him off, yes it took a stupid, religious fanatic, and idiotic Indian to Kill Bapu. That is an Indian. Indians like to talk about others and comment but have a separate rule book for themselves.

Treatment of women is just a blunt, naked, crude, brutal and shameless reflection of the Indian masses who are Racist Pigs.

I have decided to stay unmarried even before teenage, I am 25 now but, I know that Indian people won’t let me live in peace.So after completing my B.E I left India and came to Canada for higher studies. To my surprise, I met Indians here and it’s the same story. They keep their sexually repressive and conservative tradition with them here as well. I am sick of this pathetic Indian culture.
I had a relationship with a neighbor girl but she was from another caste.So when she came into college she got afraid and broke up with me.I proposed a girl in my college, she liked me but as her caste was different and she refused; because her parents won’t allow her to marry me.
Since then I have built up a hatred for Indian girls. In my world they do not exist, they are not individuals, they are like a herd of sheep. I am so happy that I am in Canada, at least you can talk to a girl (East Asians, African-Americans and Americans) who have a personality , you can date them, they don’t give you a rape warning or a marriage ultimatum like Indian women.

After completing my studies I got a good job. There are some Indian women here I know who are still unmarried (college students and above 25), they see a good slave and a good provider in me and try to lure me into having a relationship with them, I can’t say F***OFF on their faces but I know what they want, they want a good earning slave.To avoid them, I keep a low profile. I try my best to ignore Indian women all the time.

Being an Indian, I like Indian women the most, but our social, religious and caste system is so f***d up that as a man you don’t even want to try. An Indian male (like an Indian female) have to live a sexless life in his teens and college years and his only way to get some sexual pleasure is marriage. Such a bullsh*t evil society we have. I have a question, do Indian women know there is a thing called sex, or are they just sexless creatures?

If you talk to an Indian woman she only thinks you just want to have sex with her. Young Indian women are taught by their mothers that men are sex crazy dogs and you have to withhold sex and they will act like an obedient dogs to get sex.That’s exactly how Indian women see men.I swear I was extremely surprised when I talked to women from other races and nationalities, they were so respectful, friendly, open-minded and they did not treat me like I am a sexually pervert animal.
However after reading your blog I have come to the conclusion that, it’s the society, religion and caste system that makes Indian women the way they are .So I have changed my status to “I hate Indian women” to ” I am indifferent to Indian women “. They just don’t exist in my world (and in my Indian friends world) .We want to be with Indian women but their mind is so brainwashed and controlled by their parents, society, religion. Stupid traditions and caste that we don’t even try .Only they can break the chains of slavery , and they must stop being obedient cows of their parents, if your parents don’t respect your free choice they should go to hell. But are Indian women ready to take the responsibility into their hands???

In Indian society, caste is respected and not individuals.
Caste=group=mob mentality. Lack of individuality; it’s so deep-rooted in Indian culture that even NRIs are terrified when some other guy try to do something different like, dating other races, trying to have non-Indian friends, buying a different type of car (sports, coupé), buying an expensive liquor, buying expensive stuff, taking a cab, buying organic food, having roommates who are from different nationalities etc.
As far as Indian women are concerned , no angels from the skies are coming to help them, to hell with those emotionally torturing parents, until new generation does not challenge their parents (like I did) nothing is going to change.
That’s the question, are Indian women ready to challenge their own parents, caste system, stupid male dominated religions and rituals etc. Are they ready to take responsibilities into their hands?? are they ready to think and act as a group (women of India ) instead of being from upper-lower caste women ??”
(Sorry for such a long post… and yeah it does not matter if you are a man or woman, our society don’t let us and our parents live peacefully, when are you going to get married ??apke ladke ki shaadi nahi hui ?? SIGH).

Thank god I don’t live in a psychopath society like India, and here in Canada I avoid Indian families and Indian girls , sorry no disrespect to Indian woman but they are just looking for marriage on the other hand I just want to live my life freely and I make a good economical slave. (And sex is not a bad thing, thankfully unlike Indian and Muslim women rest of the womankind of this planet do enjoy sex just for the sake of having & enjoying it with no secret plans in their minds to trap a man)

Anyway have a good day,
‘S’

Related Read

Why have I not got married?

Rational Views on Casteism,Indian Women and Parents

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38 thoughts on “Young Indian women are taught by their mothers that men are sex crazy dogs

  1. Good post. I’m not a an Indian though (just in love with an Indian guy). Still the great emphasis was put on the topic of sex. It’d sound better if the author of the post talked mainly about FREEDOM, of choice, of anything. Just don’t forget – “Do what you want and take responsibility for everything you do!”

  2. Brutal “comment” …. There are few things that i don’t agree with but a lot of points that I do… India as a society need to rethink its irrelevant social rules and customs because it is burying its future in the past.

  3. It’s odd about this “caste” thing. I’ve never known what caste any girl I’ve ever approached is, and no girl has ever asked me what my “caste” is either.

    So…how does anyone know what caste the other person belongs to? The poster says that Indian girls only want to marry within their own caste. So does he mean to say that girls ask this question “What caste are you?” If so, I must have been living on another planet. I’ve never been asked this question. And no girl has ever walked up to me and told me what caste she belongs to either.

    Speaking of which, no man has never told me about his caste either! How can caste be such a big deal when no one even talks about it?

  4. I dont agree with anything in the comment. I havent been asked about my caste! I havent asked the caste of anyone, be it friends, crush or girl friend. May be I am not seeing through his eyes. But I disagree with almost all the points in there

  5. I think writer has gone to extreme but it is bitter truth for an Indian.
    I hate when I hear people saying that we should respect elders.
    Indian parents would not teach a child to respect values, being independent.
    This kind of teaching is one of the major cause of the atrocity on an Indian women, where woman suffer silently.
    This kind of teaching is cause of child abuse by elders.
    Youngster has to come forward to eradicate in menace of caste system/ dowry.

  6. Dear S, I understand where your ‘Indifference’ to Indian Women roots from but its not justified. From what I see, you have typecast Indian women into ‘money-sucking, marriage hungry (caste specific) because they have typecast you. I live in India, I m also somewhere near the quarter life crisis. I know a lot of Indian girls who are open to dating, but only if its a serious affair. That doesn’t mean we chase only marriage.

    I don’t know whom you meet; but you definitely need to look outside your clique.

  7. Anyway, life is not about girls-boys-dating-sex-marriage-kids. Gosh! How boring it is!!!!!!!!!!
    Get a better thing to do in life and stop moaning here! Primitive people!

  8. Disagree with the entire post. It is like the guy cant face rejection, so he has ranted on and on, and made a laughing stock of the women in India.
    Really, either he chose all the meek girls, or he was not good enough- so they quoted caste and left him.
    That way caste is a good thing, a great excuse.
    No Indian woman is going to walk around saying ‘Hey, Im not a virgin, I love sex.’ because the Indian man’s mind is not conditioned to accept such phrases from a woman. He would probably look at her as a slut and try his luck.
    Indian girls are conditioned and raised to be homely, docile creatures because Indian Men cannot accept anything else.
    So Mr S should stop acting indifferent and constipated, and stop blaming the ladies for his faults.

      1. I just saw this. Im sorry if I offended you , Rina, but you know one Indian man, you love him, Im happy for you. But most Indian men ARE like this, and its the sad truth.

    1. You just offended all or most of Indian Men..Share some respect for them too which you give for Indian women,and not just complaining like a typical women.They made your life more easier.

      1. Yeah men are sex crazed dogs in India and girls in college look forward to boyfriends as an American express black credit card. Yes there is a big taboo on the word sex and people will look at you and talk in loud voices if u kiss someone in public. No one will raise a word if a husband beats his wife in public (scoffs marriage) but one kiss and everyone loses their minds. This is how guys are raised here. . This is how girls are raised here. And as for caste, no no one will ask u your caste, unless it’s for some fucking benefit in a government job or a college admission. Coz that’s one place where now a days people proudly say “I’m from a backward caste” . You can’t change a big load of shit, the one South of the Himalayas. . It’s so deep rooted that’s sometimes I believe if I dig enough, I’ll get Indias caste certificate and gender certificate. . High school kids are told that genetics is sex education and anatomy is taught in those blurry half rate drawings (yes drawings, not illustrations) of male and female reproductive system. So obviously people are so damn ignorant, that sometimes I can’t think how it managed to become a country of over 1 billion population. . Nothing can be done for this place.

        For me personally., I still have 2 years of my masters degree left. After that I’ll leave for the states. It’s better to run a grocery shop there than to live here. .

        Peace .

  9. True, castes are differentiated internally but not enough and not to the same degree in all castes. Indian caste system is not just a horizontal segregation but vertical one too. Meaning, each and every caste/sub-caste is further subdivided along regional/linguistic lines. Calling for freedom of marriages from this archaic division is certainly not eccentric. I have no idea what you mean by it. Greater competition has always improved quality. I fail to see why one would object to it. >{But today many educated Indian women opt for arranged marriage – that is they prefer their parents to be strongly involved in their marriage decision – so things are less clear in that respect.} Most women who opt “voluntarily” for caste based arranged marriages do so because of life-long subtle pressure from the parents/clan. Most of time this pressure takes the form of emotional blackmail. It affects men too, as most of the time their girl-friends refuse marriage/proposal precisely due to this pressure. I have no hard data to support my claims, but have mountains of anecdotal evidence from men and women both. Innumerable romances/relationships get killed or are nipped in the bud for this. Some may philosophically argue that marriage is not the goal of a relationship, but that is the prerogative of the couple to decide and most do consider marriage as their immediate goal. I am not even advocating annulment of arranged marriage, though I would very much like to see that. My proposal is much more modest. Free up marriages to all communities, whether arranged or not. And create economic incentives for inter-caste marriages by way of the politically popular tool of reservation.

  10. When a relationship initially begins, no one will bother about the caste, but then a point comes when these things begin to matter and that is where we fail as a society. The day we are able to separate religion from relationships, we will become a more humane society.

    1. I have seen this “habit” a lot.The caste becomes a huge issue when serious marriage talks go on.Most of the affairs end even before blooming due to caste issue.Let’s be optimistic 🙂

      1. Castes, families, etc. There is another real problem which kills lives of the two who want to be together – MILES from each other, unability to visit for the reasons very well known, years of watse of time, energy, hopes, etc. Depression, wish to kill oneself without even having held his/her hand! Knowing that it will probably come to an end. I’m having this for 5 years and I have suffered too much. I don’t know why this life is so cruel?

  11. “…An Indian male (like an Indian female) have to live a sexless life in his teens and college years and his only way to get some sexual pleasure is marriage…”

    From the above statement, I feel ‘S” was like a sex crazy dog during his teens and college years and couldn’t get a partner to satiate his sexual desires (or hasn’t sublimated it enough via other means), and still feels miserable that he was in India and not in some developed country where he could have got a partner for casual sex.

    Further ‘S’ looks like he is interested only in casual (no strings attached) sex, and perhaps live-in relationship which is difficult in India (at least for now), and even with most Indians in developed countries.

    Just like some Indian men marry for money (dowry) to settle down in life faster (I remember a quote – “If your father is poor it is your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor it is your foolishness.”), some Indian women also want to settle down in life faster by marrying a well to do man (I remember another quote that is appropriate here – “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”).

    I can’t comment on the Indian system (i.e. why it is the way it is), but I believe most educated Indians still stick to arranged marriages within their castes is for the sake of conformation. In other words, lazy to get out of his or her comfort zone, or scared of being the odd one out.

  12. In sharp contrast to the purity of a Brahman, a Sweeper born of Sweeper parents is considered to be born inherently polluted. The touch of his body is polluting to those higher on the caste hierarchy than he, and they will shrink from his touch, whether or not he has bathed recently. Sweepers are associated with the traditional occupation of cleaning human feces from latrines and sweeping public lanes of all kinds of dirt. Traditionally, Sweepers remove these polluting materials in baskets carried atop the head and dumped out in a garbage pile at the edge of the village or neighborhood. The involvement of Sweepers with such filth accords with their low-status position at the bottom of the Hindu caste hierarchy, even as their services allow high-status people, such as Brahmans, to maintain their ritual purity.

  13. Amazing!! So much for being an Indian and that too an Indian Woman!!

    I truly assume that everyone here are very well aware of the kind of life you all do seek and take glory in from LIFE. Well, the west upholds and dignifies the Indian so called culture – namely arranged marriage, Family, values and most important parental bliss which is passed on from generations into our so called Indian system. The WEST (Africans, Americans, Europeans, Latinos…..) are turning out to be Zombies, without feelings or emotions or even respect in their Relationships, Marriage or even SEX. There are single teen mothers aged 21-25, even after the high rise in Abortion among them. They are allowed to date and get laid as per their culture. (not to mention how one is treated for guarding his/her Virginity. They don’t understand the concept of Arranged Marriage – especially “The Bonding of two Families”, for there parents don’t dare interfere or influence in their child’s decision. Result – High rate of divorces, which has become a lifestyle in WEST and NO FAMILY VALUES!! In India, if statistics are considered, relationships which have been consummated based on Arrange Marriage have encountered very minimal divorce when compared to Love Marriage – wonder why..??

    I have a great respect for Indian Woman – not because of what they are, but who (INDIANS) they are and there are millions young ladies who are looking up to you!!

    Adieus!!

  14. Wow, so many sweeping generalizations in this post. You sound very bitter and I’m going to give you my example of how not all brown women are the way you think they are.

    I’ll start by saying that I’m a 25 year old woman born and living in Canada, and my background is that I’m half Indian and half Guyanese. I’ve lived on my own since attending and finishing university.

    I decide what rules I live by. It is my life to live and no one except for me has a say in what I choose to do with my life. Not even my parents. They have their right to perhaps not like some of my choices, but my dad has been especially great with not trying to pressure me into doing anything I don’t want to do. My mom (who is Indian) was raised more strictly and is more religious, but if she chooses to disrespect me because I’m not the way she is, that’s her problem and not mine. Blood relation or not, no one can guilt me into living in a way that is “right” according to them.

    I also have a boyfriend who is from Trinidad and we do want to get married. Seven years ago, when we first started dating, I didn’t know or presume that we would want to get married, nor did I give him an ultimatum for it. It just happened the way it did.

    Anyways, you sound pathetic and closed-minded. I think that has a lot more to do with why you’re striking out with brown girls. I know plenty of brown girls who date, make their own choices and do not give ultimatums for marriage with their boyfriends. You “hate Indian women” and now are “indifferent to Indian women”? Well, I can’t think of any women who like to be generalized by their race or culture.

    Oh, and to counter another one of your sweeping generalizations – I love sex, too.

  15. Something Insightful & a Must Read…
    Don’t know whether this article is apt to our present discussion…but will surely gives us a new insight towards Love, Responsibility and SEX.
    P.S. Pls read this article with an open mind, regardless of any religion, caste or creed.

    Love and Responsibility: Beyond the Sexual Urge
    Edward P Sri | Love and Sexuality | Love and Responsibility | 15 June, 2013

    In our first reflection on Pope John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility, we considered the “personalist principle,” which says that we should not treat other persons merely as a means to an end. In particular, we saw how utilitarianism weakens our relationships by getting us to value people primarily in terms of some pleasure or benefit we receive from our relationships with them.

    Yet the sophisticated utilitarian may argue that there is nothing wrong with two people “using” each other as long as they mutually consent and mutually receive some advantage from the relationship. In fact, some may say that a relationship that brings together the egoism (self-interest) of the man and the egoism of the woman in a mutually beneficial way, actually is a relationship of love.

    For example, what is wrong with Bill and Sally having sex outside of marriage if each person consents and each person derives some pleasure from it? Since in the sexual act, Bill’s desire for pleasure harmonizes with Sally’s desire for pleasure, such an act does not appear to be selfish. They each give pleasure to each other and not just to themselves.

    Pope John Paul II points out one serious problem with such a relationship: “The moment they cease to match and to be of advantage to each other, nothing at all is left of the harmony. Love will be no more, in either of the persons or between them . . .” (p. 39).

    Since this kind of relationship is still dependent on what I get out of the other person, it prevents me from truly being in communion with her and being committed to her as person. I’m “committed” to the person only in so far as—and as long as—I receive pleasure or advantage from the relationship. In fact, Pope John Paul II likens such relationships of mutual use to prostitution.

    Like Prostitution

    Consider a businessman who has a relationship with a prostitute on a certain night every week. The man desires the sexual pleasure she can give him, and the woman desires the money he can give her. They each have self-serving aims that come together in the sexual act and benefit the other person. They each get what they want, and in the process they meet the other person’s desires.

    However, the moment the couple ceases to be mutually advantageous to each other, what will happen to this relationship? If the prostitute can get paid more by a richer man on that particular night of the week, she likely will leave the first businessman for the wealthier one. On the other hand, if the businessman no longer finds the prostitute pleasurable and meets a younger, more attractive prostitute, he likely will leave the first for the younger one.

    This may seem like an extreme example, but how many malefemale relationships today are not much better than this? How many relationships are based more on a mutual use than on a committed love and a true communion of persons? For example, how many young women give up their virginity and sleep with a man for the emotional security of having a boyfriend or for fear that if they don’t do this, the man may break up with her? How many men just want a good-looking girl to sleep with for the physical pleasure he may derive from the relationship? These are not relationships of authentic love that bring persons in communion with one another. Rather, these are simply more socially acceptable forms of mutual use— similar to prostitution.

    Insecurity, Not Love

    Pope John Paul II notes how utilitarian relationships breed fear and insecurity in one or both of the persons. A warning sign that one might be in a utilitarian relationship is when one person is afraid to bring up difficult topics or fears addressing problems in the relationship with their beloved.

    One reason many couples (whether they be dating, engaged, or married) never confront each other with difficulties is that deep down they know there is not much of a foundation for the relationship to stand on—just the mutual pleasure or benefit. One fears that if the relationship becomes challenging, demanding, or difficult for the other person, the other may leave. The only way the relationship can survive is to cover up problems and pretend things aren’t as bad as they really are. “Therefore love so understood is self-evidently merely a pretense which has to be carefully cultivated to keep the underlying reality hidden: the reality of egoism, and the greediest kind of egoism at that, exploiting another person to obtain for itself its own ‘maximum pleasure’” (p. 39).

    The Pope then shows how people in these kinds of relationships sometimes even allow themselves to be used by the other in order to get what they want out of the relationship: “Each of the persons is mainly concerned with gratifying his or her own egoism, but at the same time consents to serve someone else’s egoism, because this can provide the opportunity for such gratification—and just as long as it does so” (p. 39).

    In this case, the person willingly lowers himself to be used as a tool for the other person’s selfish intentions. “If I treat someone else as a means and a tool in relation to myself I cannot help regarding myself in the same light. We have here something like the opposite of the commandment to love” (p. 39).

    The Sexual Urge

    Sexuality is one of the main areas where we can fall into using other people. Pope John Paul II thus spends much time reflecting on the nature of the sexual urge.

    First, he discusses how the sexual urge manifests itself in the tendency for human persons to seek the opposite sex. He says the sexual urge orients a man toward the physical and psychological characteristics of a woman—her body, her femininity— which are the very attributes that are most complementary to the man. And the woman, in turn, is oriented toward the physical and psychological attributes of a man—his body and his masculinity—as the properties that are naturally complementary to the woman. Hence, the sexual urge itself is experienced as a bodily (physical) and emotional (psychological) attraction to a person of the other sex.

    Nevertheless, the sexual urge is not an attraction to the physical or psychological qualities of the opposite sex in the abstract. Pope John Paul II emphasizes that these attributes only exist in a concrete human person. For example, no man is attracted to “blonde” or “brunette” in the abstract. Rather, he is attracted to a woman—a particular person—who may have blonde or brunette hair. A woman is not primarily attracted to “masculinity” as a theoretical concept, but she may be very attracted to a particular man who exhibits certain traditionally masculine traits, such as courage, decisiveness, strength, and chivalry.

    The Pope emphasizes this point to show how the sexual urge ultimately is directed toward a human person. Therefore, the sexual urge is not bad in itself. In fact, since it is meant to orient us toward another person, the sexual urge can provide a framework for authentic love to develop.

    This is not to say that the sexual urge is to be equated with love itself. Love involves a lot more than the spontaneous sensual or emotional reactions that are produced by the sexual urge; authentic love requires acts of the will directed toward the good of the other person. Still, the Pope says that the sexual urge can provide the “raw material” from which acts of love may arise—if it is guided by a great sense of responsibility for the other person.

    More than Animal Instinct

    It is important to note that the sexual urge in human persons is not the same as the sexual instinct found in animals. Pope John Paul II explains that in animals, the sexual instinct is a reflex mode of action, which is not dependent on conscious thought. For example, a female cat in heat does not reflect on what is the best time, place, or circumstance for her to mate, and she does not ponder which male cat in the neighborhood would make the ideal partner. Cats simply act reflexively according to their instincts.

    Human persons, however, do not have to be enslaved to what is stirring within them in the sexual sphere. In the end, the person is in control of the sexual urge—not the other way around. The person can choose how he or she wants to use it (p. 50).

    A man, for example, may experience a sexual attraction to a woman. He may sometimes even experience this attraction as something happening to him—something that begins to take place in his sensual or emotional life without any initiative on his part. However, that attraction can and should be subordinated to his intellect and will. While a person may not always be responsible for what spontaneously happens to him in the arena of sexual attraction, he is responsible for what he decides to do in response to those interior stirrings (pp. 46-47).

    Loving or Using?

    Remember, the sexual urge draws us to the physical and psychological attributes of a person of the opposite sex. But, ultimately, it is meant to orient us toward another person who possesses those attributes—not just the attributes themselves. Manifestations of the sexual urge thus present us with a choice between loving the person and using them for their attributes.

    For example, let’s say Bill meets Sally at work and is quickly attracted to her good looks and her charming personality. Bill can choose to rise above this initial sexual reaction and see in her more than just her body or her femininity. By looking beyond the physical and psychological attributes that give him pleasure, he has the possibility of seeing her as a person and responding to her with selfless acts of love.

    On the other hand, Bill may experience sexual attraction and choose to dwell on the physical and psychological qualities that give him pleasure. By focusing on her good looks and her feminine charm—and the pleasure he derives from them— he is distracted from seeing Sally as she truly is and remains incapable of truly loving her as a person. He may be kind to her, but he is, at least to some significant degree, doing this so he may receive some sensual or emotional pleasure from his association with her. In the end, therefore, Bill is using her as a source of pleasure for himself.

    The Pope says if the interaction between a man and a woman remains at the level of these initial reactions produced by the sexual urge, the relationship is not able to grow into a true communion of persons. “Inevitably, then, the sexual urge in a human being is always in the natural course of things directed toward another human being. If it is directed toward the sexual attributes as such this must be recognized as an impoverishment or even a perversion of the urge” (p. 49).

    This is an important point for our daily encounters with persons of the opposite sex. Following the personalist principle, the Pope reminds us how careful we must be in order to avoid treating others as potential objects to enjoy for our own sensual or emotional pleasure. Along these lines, we must ask ourselves a crucial question: What will we do when we experience the stirring of sexual attraction to a particular person of the opposite sex? What will a man choose to do when he notices the physical beauty of a woman? What will a woman choose to do when she finds herself attracted to a man?

    In these pivotal moments, we can choose to focus on the sensual or emotional pleasure we receive from another person’s body or from their masculinity or femininity. And in so doing, we would be viewing the person as an object to enjoy and thus fall into utilitarianism. Or, we can seek to cultivate authentic love for the person himself or herself by directing our attention to the whole person. By looking beyond the physical and psychological attributes and seeing the actual person, we open the door to at least the possibility of willing the good of the other person as in the virtuous friendship and of performing truly selfless acts of kindness —which are not dependent on the amount of pleasure we receive from the relationship.

    With these insights, Pope John Paul II reminds us that our delicate interactions with persons of the opposite sex demand great responsibility. “For this very reason, manifestations of the sexual urge in man must be evaluated on the plane of love, and any act which originates from it forms a link in the chain of responsibility, responsibility for love” (p. 50).

  16. This is so wrong! Its wrong to generalize for all Indian Women. I’m 19 and when I’m talking to an Indian guy I don’t think that way. It’s nice to talk to guys as long as we have our intentions straight, and by that I mean having a fruitful discussion/ conversation. And yes, I do sometimes feel if a guy is hitting on me, that it will be wrong to my parents to flirt back, I’m happy that at least they are open to me marrying any guy I like.
    Peace.

  17. Author of this post, must have some serious issues I guess. Generalizing all women based on few incidents in one person’s life is pretty lame. Just don’t f*cking generalize women just like that. I am a guy(still in India) and I had few girlfriends before marriage, and among them only once I had this issue. And I simply broke up with her. Does it mean that all the other girls I dated are money-hungry, ruthless women? Man, you need some serious consultation and hope Canada have good therapist to help you out.

  18. India is backward insane overpopulated despot. Indians are conviluted, entitled, amoral that will at one hand ask for pleas of self loathing pity answered and the other hand espouse prejudice ignorant bias toward other people whether in India, Africa, Europe or the West.

  19. nice post there is a line which is very important to understand to Indian girls as well as boys “sex is not bad think” its a important part of life. Humans need to feel it enjoy it rather than make any stupid or serious gossip subject…

  20. to “E” please tell me it was a typo error when you wrote:
    west Africans are turning out to be like zombies without respect for family, relationships or even sex!
    as a west African I found your statement very disturbing and what you continued to write after that. I hope you know what or where you’re talking about because am about to break things down for you.
    west Africa is a part of the African continent that consists of over 15 countries. the official languages mainly French and English with French been the majority.
    Each country has their own set of religions and tribes.
    Nigeria alone consists of over a 150 tribes with each tribe having their own set of values, morals and of course culture.
    so how can you, who knows nothing of west Africa state with absolute confidence (and may I add speak for an entire 300 different tribal people) their attitude towards sex, relationships and treatment of family.
    to cut this long post short I’ll tell you you’re absolutely wrong. children do not get married without the entire families approval (not just parents) and if the child still refuses to get married he or she will have to give reasons for her choice and hope the family agrees and accept his or her decision. but of course this does not apply to all tribes. but family is very important in each tribe. and I do not know of a single tribe that promotes freedom with sex, carelessness in relationships etc. one more thing men refuse to marry a woman that isn’t a virgin. whether right or wrong this is the way things are.
    but of course if you have anecdotal evidence I’ll be glad to read anytime.

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