If you have ever taken the pain and pleasure to read the About Me section of my blog, then you might be aware that the current blog is my fourth attempt. Past two weeks I did read here and there about people hiding their original name while blogging because of various reasons. I have no problems with it. That’s their decision.
Back in year 2006 when I started my first blog, even I wore the anonymity cap on my head and kept my name as Kuttimalu which is my Grandmother’s name. I had no intentions to make my Grandmother popular but when I was filling the sign up form at blogspot, my heart uttered this name sotto voce.
The reasons for going anonymous were plenty. The biggest one was criticism. I feared criticism. I was not sure whether people would like what I write. But the first blog saw the heights of failure that I had to shut it down after two posts. I did give the URL of my blog to my very close friends and they were very kind enough not to laugh at me. I even restricted the blog’s visibility in Google search so that people won’t suffer reading my posts even by accident.
On one rainy morning in 2007, something struck my head and heart and I again started a blog with a different name, i.e Malu, which is my pet name too. I didn’t write any post that day but I gleefully told my friend about it. A very important lesson was learned that day; at times friends can be unkind too. Upon hearing the breaking news of my blog, she asked why I failed to learn lessons from failures. That was the end of my second blog. I closed it even before writing a post.
I didn’t have the strength make a third attempt, especially after hearing a lot of reviews about “those” two posts I had written. But I was not a person to give up that easily. So I started another blog in 2008, of course hiding my original name, but somehow that mood to write a post didn’t come to me. May be the mood signals were tired of inspiring me or they must have lost interest in me. And I performed the closing ceremony within two days of the blog’s inaugural function.
I have a friend ,Raji, who pesters me as much as she loves me, who irritates me as much as she hates me and who puts commonsense inside my head when I run out of it. She started a blog and this in turn seduced the writing-mood signals in my head. One day, I declared to her that I have started writing my blog. As a punishment to trigger my moods of writing, she had to undergo the pain of reading my initial posts and drop valuable, inspiring and wonderful comments at the comment section. Even then I had kept my name as Malu.
After a couple of posts, the office population somehow liked the crap I was writing. They suggested that it will be difficult for other people in office to make out that I’m that “wonderful” person behind those “wonderful” posts. That was the epic moment when I decided to come out of the curtains of anonymity.
Somehow I felt like being a responsible writer who writes interesting (yawn!) posts and I started to love what I wrote.
It was then I realized, the problem I faced in my previous attempts was not fear but it was something very silly. In my fourth attempt, all I did was I loved my writing, I loved what I wrote and I loved myself. The third reason apparently forced my hands to put up a picture of mine,a smiling picture of mine, on my blog.
Rest is history.
PS: If you have a feeling that I shouldn’t have started blogging, please feel free to shout at my loving friend and my colleagues. They are the ones who encouraged me. Thank you. 😛