Behind the Scenes

This is not a movie review or a feminist rant.

I just got back watching English Vinglish now. Fantastic movie!!! Hats off to Gauri Shinde and team for making such a wonderful movie.

The reason for writing a post right after the movie is not just because the movie is fantastically made but it is because I saw a lot of women I knew,including myself,in Sridevi.There is a scene where Sridevi asks a question to the tutor and the class appreciates her for asking such an intelligent question.The way she feels confident and happy about herself is beautifully shown.A lot of women I know are brilliant at a lot of things but they feel down,inferior, and inhibited because they are not liberated.

In the blogospere,why do a lot of women write anonymously?Why do a lot of women blog fantastically and their husband or family are completely  ignorant about her blog?Why are women scared to be herself after being in a relationship or getting married?

A friend of mine once told me that sometimes she do like her husband not at home during weekends.The first question every Indian would ask will be whether she has an affair or a secret soft corner towards someone.She told me that she felt liberated when he is away.And what I saw was a free spirited woman who talked hours with her friends,laughed loudly on silly jokes,wore short skirts and roamed around in the house, did night outs watching movie and secretly rode husband’s bike.

Why do women feel liberated and free spirited when their man is away?Husband do love and take care of their wives but then why do women feel this way then?Lack of mutual respect?I don’t have a clear answer.All I know is that at times more than love and care what a woman needs is respect and freedom.

Once my friend told me that she sees a happier and smarter mother whenever her father goes out of town.When she was grown up enough to question her mother the answer she got still overwhelms me.
“I love him dearly and I do miss him too but when he is near, somehow I forget to love myself and I miss myself so much”

One of my seniors,who is intelligent and smart,once cried to me saying that her husband calls her a “waste” as she is not good at managing both work and home.She was a school topper,a brilliant quizzer, a graduate from IIM and now works as a consultant.How can somebody call her a WASTE just because she is weak/bad at doing something?

Like Sridevi says in the movie,at times when things go wrong in life,when family laughs at you,when you stop loving yourself,when you lose your identity and when people around you fail to see your brilliance we will have to stand up for ourselves to show the world that we can.

I dream of that day when an Indian woman feel liberated,happy and all herself even when her boy friend/husband/family is around.Thank you Gauri Shinde for making this movie.


14 thoughts on “Behind the Scenes

  1. //She told me that she felt liberated when he is away
    If something like this is happening, then there is something seriously wrong in their relationship. You are supposed to sulk when your spouse is not around.
    I was supposed to watch the movie this weekend but missed it. Hopefully I will watch it next weekend.

  2. You know I understand or I think I do , one of my friends has the same problem, since they are married his wife has never gone to her parents house or left him alone , and even if he is with friends then she has to ring asking where is he.. and do all the lovey dovey talk ..

    Now dont get me wrong

    it is beautiful nad others get jealous too.. but then we all need some space. to which i agree , we need to do something of our own , So thats why i said i can understand your friend saying she feel liberated.. maybe liberated is a wrong word.. but i do understand .. too much of everything is also very bad ..

    We all need space WELL i definitely need mine , that does not mean i dont care for others , I just need I would hate it If i go to a pub with a friend and my spouce is ringing asking where I am etc etc..

    and I have to watch this movie for sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  3. Looks like a very well made movie. Will watch it next weekend maybe 🙂

    Nice writeup. Let me think about why women are anonymous in blogosphere. I promise to come back on this when I have thought about it 🙂

  4. I hear you. Ever since I complained against domestic violence against my husband it was not just my husband anymore. the whole society including my parents and close near and dear one’s have made me useless. They have spread things against me here in the USA that I cannot get a job. Since it is retaliation nobody wants to hear the other side at all. They made me lose my identity totally. Nobody sees me for who I am anymore. They all see me through what I have been projected as. All I feel is hatred and desparation. Even if I want to move out the society itself is not letting me. I can’t get a single job interview inspite of my qualifications and hard work. I tried my best to get out of the situation but could not because of the society which includes the cops. I am stuck not because of my husband alone, but society at large. I know it is hard to believe but it is true. They kept comparing it to some village in India and how noone helps the woman to get out of the situation and victimizes her. I have been put in the same situation and no wonder I feel depressed. But I just try to keep my balance by doing some work and doing something to take my mind off. Well anyway, I post it sometimes in your blog and just vent out I guess. Thanks for providing a platform. Suma

  5. Brilliant write up.
    Watching this movie was an interesting thing for me.
    After an year I went alone to watch some movie. Offlate I got so used to wait for my roomie or my boyfriend to come for movie that I forgot I could even go alone.
    going ahead and watching this movie was an apt way to celebrate this movie I felt.
    We do have to stand up for our own good before some one else realizes it.
    And at times I feel, its not just your husband , but even your parents that are unaware of the good in you. Or your real talents.

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