A Horoscope Snafu


I quickly walked out of the office cubicle as I was very late for the lunch. When I reached the cafeteria, I saw my friend with her head supported inside her palms. She looked at me and the look translated like “Where the hell were you? I’m sitting and sulking here waiting for you’.Usually,my well appealing smile does wonders on her that if I sit opposite her and smile, she melts like the cone ice cream we get it in Marina Beach. But today it didn’t work and I thought she must undergoing PMS or just another bad hair day.

I wanted to ask why she was gloomy, moody and broody. The moment I looked into her eyes, she lamented.” I’m a Virgo now”.

Though for a second I thought that she was complaining about being a virgin but when I understood the situation I almost expectorated the water which I was sipping from the tumbler.

“You’re a Virgo now? What does that mean? So what was your zodiac sign yesterday?” I suffocated her with questions amidst my confusion.

“Until yesterday, I was Libra”, she said with a clenched fist.

Her birth date is September 23 and she was a proud Libra woman. The hell broke loose when an astrologer found out a miscalculation in the position of planets in her horoscope; that too after 26 years. The astrologer volunteered to prognosticate her life with the available information from her parents. So by the end of the mission, he declared that she is a Virgo.

I wanted to tell her that astrology is a goofy business and it has a history of making people goosey. The wrinkles on her temple made me sound humble to console her for the dramatic astrological drift in her life. But little did I realize that the chaos was on its way. She was furious because according to her rebirth as a Virgo she was suppose to be critical, intellectual and reserved. When she was living as a Libra, she was classy, sociable and elegant. She was sad about wasting a lot of her precious time reading the zodiac predictions in the leading magazines and dated men accordingly. Seventeen hours back, her perfect partner was a Taurus and Capricorn. She was happy about it as she had almost hitched a Taurus man. But now she doesn’t know where to find a Gemini/Aquarius man.

Late realizations unfolded like a myriad confession statements. She deciphered why her first crush rejected her at the drop of a hat even after being an Aries boy. Her college life was not exactly like it was written in the horoscope though she refused to believe all this while. It was due to Saturn in the Virgo that her trip to the United States was deferred due to visa problems even when the Saturn in the Libra gleefully smiled at her reassuring the flaunting US trip. Though the Taurus man seemed nice and eligible, she was still thinking hard about committing completely. Now she has answers for all the hugger-mugger and the topsy-turvy which had demoralized the Libra woman inside her.

Finally after the dissertation, she was very relieved and smiled at me.

Her post lunch modus operandi made her check the astrological signs in the regional tabloid and it read that she would experience a rejuvenating day filled with happiness and contentment. She danced in joy while walking back to our seats and I secretly checked my astrological sign reading to see whether it read something like “I would be persuaded to believe in astrology”. I saw nothing that way but it did read “You will experience a hard day in your work place. The strategy is to stay diplomatic so that nobody is hurt. There will be a surprise for you back at home. Wearing yellow will bring you happiness today”.

I think it is time to believe in my zodiac sign and kudos to all the planets which are tirelessly orbiting around my head since my birth to decide my moods and future. Anyway tomorrow, I will update you whether the surprise waiting for me back home was pleasant or not; if at all such surprise happens.

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21 thoughts on “A Horoscope Snafu

  1. gee ; I was in splits reading this. But I really don’t blame your friend – we take pleasure in blaming our miseries on astrological jargon. And vice versa news of any impending happiness gives our ego the much needed boost. Taking astrological musings with a pinch of salt helps 🙂

  2. 🙂 .. if people know or can tell future etc or what is going ot happen then why dont they change their lives is what i would like ot question..

    GOd helps those who help themselves and work hard.. you might be born in a great time but things will only happen if one does something ..

    I am a scorpio or rather I was , have no idea what I am now after they found a new zodiac ..

  3. we had this argument from school days.. how this world can be divided in 12 signs, and will 1/12th of the world experience same fate??
    anyways i was surprised that your friends read predictions everyday and acted accordingly, that too dated accordingly and didnt follow her heart.. 😦

      1. Its not just 1/12th. Every Sign has shades to it, just like every color. So you will have +/- variations in every sign. 🙂 Not that I believe in it. I just read it somewhere. 🙂

  4. Haha..

    Astrology is certainly a goofy business! I remember my cousin complaining recently how astrologers are deciding her life. Apparently this cousin of mine wants to quit her bank job and do something else. But her parents are against it since an astrologer has advised that only a bank job would suit her best! So much for believing the astrologers!

  5. @Bikram : Oh yes,and it read something like “The chances of winning a lottery is higher this week.and if you win,you should be donating it to a girl named “Bhavia” in India and you may live happily for 100 years”.
    Seriously..Trust me 😛

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