Distance From BETI to BAHU


Some daughters are lucky to have a wonderful father.He would love her,pamper her and support her very decision.He would bring her up with so much freedom and liberal views.I know such a father since 10 years.Her daughter,6 years elder to me,has done everything that an orthodox Kerala must have not even thought about.She was studious,assertive,bold,travelled alone,married an English guy and now settled in London.

I have always looked upon this father with so much respect that I have felt at times that even my father drew inspiration from him on matters related to me.He would tell everyone that girls are asset to a family.

My heart made arguments against him after I met his son,who is 3 is elder to me,couple of weeks back.He has been a very smart guy since I have known the family.He wanted to marry his girl friend who was with him in one of the top management institutes in India and the father went against his decision.

His girl friend is smart,intelligent,studious,social drinker,modern,atheist and very liberal in her views.She cooks terribly,sings well,holds a fat check job like the guy but she is not a Keralite.

The reasons which his father put forward to cancel the marriage did depress me a lot because I always thought he would treat both his beti and bahu the same.His dream bahu should be

1)not-so-smart-not-so-intelligent(WTF!!His daughter is smart and intelligent.What is wrong in being a smart and intelligent girl?)

2)a good cook(I have never seen his daughter entering in the kitchen and from the Facebook photos,I guess her English husband does most of the household work)

3)traditional and god-fearing(What is his problem with her religious views?Traditional means she should wear sari and walk around?)

4)non-drinker(His daughter drinks,so why such a constrain on the bahu?)

5)holding a small job so that she has time to look after the house(His daughter holds a very high place in a world-famous MNC.If you need somebody to look after your house,get a maid)

And when the guy argued with the father,he replied that beti and bahu are not the same. :-0

Finally,I realized the difference between beti and bahu are not just three letters but much more than that.

Poor guy!! 😦

Edited and updated : The guy is marrying somebody else after emotional pressure from his family.So no point in telling anything now.Forgot to add this piece.Thus it proves that in India even guys are not allowed to take a decision by himself,when it comes to marriage 😦

*Beti – daughter

*Bahu – daughter-in-law

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26 thoughts on “Distance From BETI to BAHU

  1. 🙂 Your topic is something to ponder over for every person out there… expectations of a person about his daughter-in-law cannot be blamed but the person who keeps a different view about two person’s of same gender is not acceptable. And to add to the concern, this is not typical behaviour.. its a general one you get to see all over the places which is rich in culture and bound by orthodox customs. Personally i believe the main reason behind such a behaviour is the partiality while treating the people we consider our own and those who are strangers/outsiders.

    If daughter can drink, daughter-in-law too should be enjoying that freedom !

    Caption says it all …!

    1. That’s all..
      no need to treat her like their daughter,but there is nothing wrong in giving the individual freedom.Like you said,it’s a general view which people find it difficult to leave.

  2. that is so bad.. how can he be so cruel.. his might be DIL has all qualities what his son wants.. so why is he bothering so much.. i suggest this guy to go ahead and marry his love.. hope at least his sister would support him in this..

  3. it is shocking right- but unfortunately in many cases I have seen the “so called” liberal minded and educated people adopting different yardsticks for daughter and d-in-law. Pathetic really ! hope the son marries the girl of his choice

  4. I am disappointed with the boy. How can he let down the girl whom he loved and she loved back? Parents come round sooner than later and even if they don’t he should have the guts to stand by his girl. I feel sick when I see such parents who pamper their daughters and screw up the lives of their sons because of their bull bull-headedness.

  5. This is reverse discrimination. The daughter was allowed to marry someone she loved but the son wasn’t. Are you sure reasons were the ones you mentioned and not caste/community/dowry?

  6. Sad. Every time I read of such a tale, I feel disappointed. Is this what education is supposed to do? I agree with Zephyr. How could he let down the girl he loved? As for such parents, the lesser said the better.

    1. There was a time when I actually believed that education is a panacea for the social evil,but when I hear such news I have no choice other than to wash away my beliefs

    1. I wish..He has a very good job and even she earns well.It would have not been a big hassle to start a family without the parents.but like I said,it’s too late to do anything

  7. Isn’t this so true and so close to home. It is very rare that in-law’s treat you and understand you. But isn’t it very sad that most of the father’s too in the name of tradition and their own prestige sacrifice their daughter’s life every so often.

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