This is a guest post written by Joshi Mukard.Do you love laughing holding your stomach and rolling on the floor?If yes,do visit Joshi’s Tomato Blog.He is the guru of sarcasm and humor posts.Now sit back and read his “interesting” blunders with women.
Thank you Joshi!!
When Bhavia asked me to write a guest post under the title ‘My blunders with Women’, I happily accepted the chance without even thinking twice. I thought it is my kind of topic, but then when I actually started on it, I really could not think of any blunders except for one petty incident.
This happened in my first company almost 5 years back. She was my team mate, but she was a very quiet girl who kept herself to herself. We rarely got her talking, but she always smiled. The ‘incident’ happened in the first team party organized by the company after she joined the team. Most of us were drunk and we were dancing, and at one corner of the dance floor, I saw this girl – let me call her ‘S’ as her name starts with this letter, dancing really wildly with one of her female friends. I just couldn’t believe what I saw. For ‘S’ being an extremely introvert girl, we didn’t even expect her to attend the party, but then there she was, twisting and moving her body both sensuously and artistically to the tunes. I called my friends and showed them the ‘rare’ sight. They were far too drunk, they didn’t pay any real attention to her and moved off, but me, dumbfounded and moonstruck, kept starring at her more in sheer disbelief than lust. Then, suddenly her friend, who was dancing with her walked straight to me and asked “what are you staring at?” in a real intimidating tone. She said, “I want to talk to your team lead”. My team lead was standing next to me and happened to overhear her, told her, “take it easy, he’s drunk”. But I wasn’t drunk and when I tried to explain my act to him, he simply dismissed it by telling, “Forget it man, I’m happy atleast you have gained enough courage to stare at girls”. ‘S’ never complained and continued to smile, but her friend who also joined my team a little while after the incident, we never saw eye-to-eye.
Perhaps the above mentioned story is the only blunder I ever did. Maybe I’m just too lucky not to get into an awkward situation, or I simply know how to keep myself within the limits. Whatever it is, I never really got into any trouble with any girl.
But since the post looks too small, I would like to extend this under the title, ‘The Girls I Met in Life’. This is going to be a long read, but I assure you, my readers, none of you will be bored. I have many good female friends, but here, I intent to talk about my several love affairs and some interesting friends.
Falling in love has never been difficult for me. But I’m neither romantic nor have the good looks to land girls, so being rejected is a common result. But I’m not the type who would fret about rejection. I never took a drop of alcohol or grew beard just because a girl rejected me. There’s a saying, “the best way to forget about a lost love, is to fall in love again” and that’s what I always did.
There’s another saying, “first love and first kiss will always stay fresh in your memory”. My first kiss came at the age of 21 with my fourth love, whom I happened to marry, so my wife’s the only girl I ever kissed – I do remember when and where it happened, only vaguely though. But my first love is still fresh in my memory. I was in 12th STD and she was in 10th. I was friends with a few of the boys from her class, so I used to visit their class during lunch intervals and got to see her. One of the friends there was in love with her and I was assisting him with suggestions and advice on how to win her heart. But eventually I fell in love with her myself and started to work behind the back of the other guy. She co-operated with her beautiful eyes and occasional smile.
Time flew past, and soon we came to the end of the school year. On the last exam day, I wrote a huge love letter and gave it to one of her friends and asked her to hand it over to my girl. That proved to be a huge mistake (ha, one more for ‘blunder’). The girl did give the letter to her, but also informed the ‘other guy’ about my antics. The ‘Other Guy’ was enraged. He went straight to the girl and demanded an answer. I later came to know that she told him that she only liked me. But the twist was that the ‘Other Guy’ was also her relative and he threatened her that the affair will be told to her father. She cried and told him she will give back the letter to me. But the guy grabbed the letter from her and took photocopy of it and circulated amongst his classmates. (Lite note: I didn’t get a copy and I didn’t want to ask the guy for the original. I don’t remember what I wrote in that letter – a copy would have helped to recollect the memory). Sensing that the situation had gone out of hand, the next wise step was to say “escape”. I did just that. I left the place instantly and rushed to the bus stand. Later I was told that a group of thugs, the ‘Other Guys’ friends were searching for me after I left. When I was waiting for the bus, the girl also made her way to the bus stop and seeing me she quickly signaled me that she wanted to talk to me. We rushed into the first bus we got, but a large crowd of people also got into the bus and I was pushed towards the back and she went further in front. The very last chance to talk to her thus got squashed. When she got down in her stop, her eyes searched for me in the crowd. When her eyes finally found mine, it was already filled with tears.
I do not know what she wanted to tell me. In our hometown and especially in schools a boy talking to a girl other than his classmates is like a major crime. So I never got to talk to her. Not a word ever was spoken between us. Only our eyes spoke.
It still pains a lot when I remember the final scene. With tears rolling down her beautiful cheeks, she bid farewell as the bus started moving away from her stop. I never saw her again.
The second and the third affairs ended as quickly as it had started. Both girls rejected me point blank. One told she already had a boyfriend which was a lie and the other one told, on my face, that she didn’t like me. So I simply moved on to the fourth one which turned out to be ‘life changing’. More on this story in the last section.
To be continued…
Another classic blunder by him is here.How I managed to forget my wife’s birthday every year and still be alive