Dark & Lovely

At times we need our good old friends to tell us the change that has come to our skin tone.

If I say that being dark is beautiful,then people will conclude that I am making excuses to support my complexion.

If I say that being fair is beautiful,then people will shout at me saying that I am helping the cosmetics business to earn extra bucks.

It all happened when one of my friends said that in the course of 25 years I have transformed to relatively fair and lovely from dark and lovely.

Though I feel the change of my complexion,it’s clearer when old friends tell it out to me.

Yes!!I had a very dark complexion during school days.If I remember,my teachers never called me to take part in dances or plays.We cannot blame them because making me look like a fairy would have been a difficult job.So I was always behind the scenes topping the classes,leading the squads/houses,being a class leader and in athletics too.

I studied in a Muslim school till 4th std and I was the ONLY dark-skinned girl in the school.The worst part was during the assembly and prayer session.As I was the class leader,I had to stand a meter ahead of the class queue.So while saying the pledge,we stretch out our hands;I look at my sides to see only fair hands on both the sides.Thus I always stood out of the crowd.While in 2nd std,some boys made fun of me saying that I am dark because I was a sinner in my last birth.I used to argue with them saying that Hindu Gods have similar complexions but it was all in vain.

Back from school,I would bother my Mother asking questions about my complexion .Today I feel the pain which my Mother must have had those days.When I wanted to dance for welcome song,teachers would purposely avoid me and I always ended up doing a solo performance.The art of empathizing was yet to learned and I would blame my Mother for my dark complexion.After all what else can she reply to a 2nd std kid’s questions?

I didn’t see any considerable change in my complexion later on but the truth is that God was kind enough to bless me with the milieu which made me the best in rest of the activities.I was a very popular kid in my school after getting settled in Calicut. I had a big gang of boys as my friends both in my school and neighborhood.We played cricket,we studied together and we still share a bond of friendship.I’m glad that they never pricked me by laughing at my complexion.

The problem started during the teens when I started worrying about the drastic changes of my skin.My Mother advised me to take some home-made remedies to counter the pimples.But my ego didn’t heed.To celebrate my problems,I had an allergy due to the dance make up and above that suffered from measles too.

But like I said God never stopped the guys falling for me even after being tanned by then.At first I thought,guys were mocking at me by their proposals. Every proposal touched me and  when I came to know from them that they fell for my personality and not for my looks,my happiness knew no bounds.Thus for the first time I saw the skin tone taking a  back seat.Since my best friend Mom knew everything about me,she lovingly made me reject all of them to which I never felt bad.later during a girls talk session,I found out that I was the one who had the most number of proposals;and of course I had no explanation to give them why guys fell for me.

But there are times when I have felt really hurt because of my complexion.Some women purposely hurt my Mother during family functions by passing comments such as

“oh!!so many degrees and marks are not going to help your daughter to get a good husband,do something to make her fair.”

“Look at my daughter,she doesn’t even mingle with boys because she is very beautiful,your daughter is having so many boys as friends because she is not fair.”

“I am telling you if your daughter is not fair,she wont find a good match.Boys will reject her during marriage proposals.”

I was furious with their comments then.Whenever my Mother tells others about my achievements,these aunties frown.

Another problem was while buying clothes.The salesman will give a stress to the work “dark-skinned” while taking clothes from the shelves.They keep commenting like “this color is only for fair-skinned girls“.

And a bit of personal worries too 😉

But today,my complexion can go with any color and I am happy about it.

A mammoth THANKS to my Mom for never making complaints about my complexion and for not bringing me up feel inferior about it.

The support of my friends circle cannot be denied because they loved me for what I am and still doing the same.

Time has played a huge role in changing my complexion from dark to tanned.Somehow it got bettered and buttered daily.

Is God trying to making me more beautiful?I wonder!!

19 thoughts on “Dark & Lovely

  1. Do you remember my blog – http://zradar.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/fair-is-beautiful/ But no worries.dark or fair you were always lovely.. And now that you have changed for the better,there arent any more worries 🙂 But I understand it is strange.A few days back a friend in FB told that I ave aged gracefully and changed a lot for the good.. The word aged is disappointing,but thats somethg we cant help..gracefully is the word to be concentrated on..

  2. I feel everyone is beautiful .. we jsut need the EYES to look at them that way ..

    and yes I am sure god is making you more beautiful each day .. beauty is also in the heart 🙂

  3. I remember trying to get tanned in college by lying on the grass outside in the mornings/afternoons. I thought it would be so cool to look darker!

    Glad you don’t have the same inferiority complex most other Indians have.

  4. “Is God trying to making me more beautiful?..”

    I believe body is a reflection of mind. If you are looking more beautiful then that means your thoughts are becoming more beautiful day by day..:)

  5. Pyar ka nikhaar toh nahi? Ha ha… I am glad the issues you had with your complexion are now put to dust. Gossiping aunties will never change. They are a breed that proceeds from one era to the other in perfect shape. You stay beautiful, fair or dark or wheatish. 😀

    1. Thanks Sangitha 🙂
      Kudos for putting up that very relevant post..
      Vive la melanin?? Yeah 😉 let it stay..That is not going to spoil my happiness 😀

  6. hey bhavia — just found your blog, after seeing your cute (!) profile-picture under wordpress’ ‘where in the world’ stats. complexion is seen by others by how we see ourselves. your picture is just the cover of who you are. can’t wait to know more…; )
    from the u.s.a,

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