My Honour is My Curse


I honked my car’s horn when I reached in front of my home’s gate.I expected Chandran, my servant ,to open it.But I saw Savitha coming from the kitchen to open the gate.

He went to his native.His uncle passed away“,She told as if she understood my thoughts.

Savitha has been very understanding from the first day of our marriage.Things between us are very smooth as there is no extra effort for me to tell her what I want.

What happened to you?You look terrible.I will switch on the heater.Take a shower and come.Have early dinner and sleep.”, Savitha smiled at me and went to the kitchen.

They will come now..or will they come only tomorrow?But I am sure that they will come in search of me.”I whispered.

I took almost an hour to finish my bath but I was not feeling better.I switched off my cell phone to avoid calls.I have a feeling that today will be the last peaceful day in my life.

I sat at the head of the dining table waiting for Savitha to bring the plates.But I was not a bit hungry but again my thoughts wandered.”What if they took me tomorrow and I never returned?How will Savitha live alone?”

Savitha : “What happened to you?Was it as bad day at the shop?”

Me : “No..no problem.I don’t want dinner.I am tired.I will go and sleep.”

Savitha : “Oh oh..don’t sleep empty stomach.Wait for two minutes.I will make some juice for you.just two minutes.

She went back to the kitchen after taking two oranges from the refrigerator.

Things are good at the shop.It has been always good at the shop and that why I am a successful businessman.My growth was steady and fast that gave me positions in both the society and the family.I started taking decisions for the family and for most of the issues related to the local temple.At times I was proud about myself,my achievements and my positions.

Here it is“.

I woke up from my thoughts.I gave her a weak smile which made her bent little.She kissed me on my forehead.I again smiled at her.

I went to the bed.I tried sleeping but after sometime I fell into deep sleep.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

I woke up hearing Savitha’s voice banging the walls of the house.My heart skipped a beat.I swallowed that last drop of saliva in my mouth.I could hear a variety of sounds now.

The bedroom door opened with a bang.

Mr.Anand,you are under arrest“, the police officer shouted.

Savitha came running through the stairs.

She caught my collars and wept.”What did you do?What did you do?”

He murdered a girl last night.Her name is Anne“, the Inspector replied Savitha.

Savitha looked at me with burning eyes.She slapped me hard on my face that the world must have heard the sound of it.She just sat on the floor numb.I was handcuffed and I walked downstairs.

I saw a big crowd waiting in front of my house.I didn’t have the courage to look at anybody.I put my head in embarrassment and got inside the police jeep.People love interfering in other’s matters,they like gossiping about others.And I feared these people and that fear made me kill Anne.I could hear people whispering that I must have tried raping that girl.Some were discussing that I had an affair with her.But all these are not true.Only I know the truth.

The police jeep fled with a noisy sound making the world know that I am criminal.

Savitha got up and looked out of the window to see the jeep and a crowd following it.She quickly dialled Sunil’s number.But he didn’t pick her call.

After all,which son will bother to pick the call,when his father murdered his girl friend.

Anne was Sunil’s classmate during graduation.Though he got warnings from his mom about the religion issue,he was adamant that he will marry Anne for sure.

After settling in the job,Sunil talked with his Dad about this.

But Anand gave him a strict NO to it.He was not ready to spoil his reputation,pride and honor in the society.Cold war was going on between father and son for past six months.But Anand didn’t even bother to keep a step down in this matter.

Anand talked with Anne telling her to leave his son.But that girl was so much in love with Sunil that she begged him to take her as daughter-in-law as her family is fine with the wedding.Anand gave her a lecture about his value in the society.He told her that he will give her anything except his son.

Anand started becoming disturbed day by day.The very fear that his honor will die if his son marries a Christian girl made him go crazy.The temple fellows making fun of him was not something that he could digest.He tried explaining his worries to his son but instead he explained father how much he needs Anne in his life.

At last,he found out a way to get rid of the issue.He lied to Savitha that he is fine the wedding.Also,talked with Anne saying that he is paying a visit to her.Sunil became happy and excited hearing it from his dad.

Like said,Anand visited Anne,killed her using a newly bought butcher knife.He left the knife there itself and wrote in a piece of paper that he killed her.And then drove back home.

Savitha’s phone rang.It is Sunil.

I am not sure what to do now.He should have not done this.If he doesn’t want to get us married,he could have left us alone.What was the need to kill her?I called up to tell you that you may not see me herafter..not only you..nobody will ever see..”Click..

Savitha stood numb there.she was too weak to think or analyse or to support either her husband or her son.

They remanded me for 14 days.I was blank.

I sat on the floor thinking about Sunil and Anne.She was a nice girl but was from a different religion.Otherwise I would have agreed.But still I should have not done it.Sunil had explained everything to me that how well she took care of him and how much he wished to have her for a lifetime.Anne told me that two lives are at my mercy.Actually,why didn’t I think about her family?If my son was precious for me,then she must be precious for her parents.For me,at least my son is alive.

Ding..Ding..

The police officer banged on the door.

Hey,you..your son’s body was found in the railway track this morning.There will be one more charge against you.In his suicide letter,he has written that you are responsible for his death.What a pathetic person are you.Don’t you have shame..Duh!!!”

For a moment,I thought I am dead.

Why did I do this?

Trying to safe guard my ego and honor and family pride,I gave away my dear son and shattered two families.if I had tried to lower my head a little for my son’s happiness,then rather than being in jail,I would be sitting in the balcony with my grand kids.I would have not lost my son.That family would have not lost their daughter.Poor girl,she didn’t do anything wrong;the only mistake she did was that she loved the son of a pathetic and heartless person.Why didn’t I think about their dreams?How much they must have dreamt about their career,jobs, wedding,married life,kids and a life with each other?

I wanted to cry but the guilt made me join my son and Anne.

Next day when the police officer came to give open the door,he saw a lifeless body,a body with no honour and no pride.

For all the ones who support honour killing: you are born with nothing and you die with nothing.In this short period of life,why do you want to give more importance to ego,pride,family honour and status when there are more important matters in life.Love your kids,love your family.Show kindness when you get an opportunity.Your  .00000000000000001% mercy may save many people’s life and dreams.Live..let live.

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37 thoughts on “My Honour is My Curse

  1. It always surprises me that it’s inevitable the woman who’s responsible for upholding the “honor” of a family. What she does is watched closely and some think that this is a tribute to her!

    Something suspicious about such flimsy “honor” if you ask me…

  2. Hey… Rem all those hullabaloo about the Khap Panchayat and their honour killings last year. It was in Frontline. A journalist did a satire on it comparing them to Talibans. Man, they were furious! These so-called guardians shud be busted off to pluto to make life here safe b honor-bound!
    I jus pity those plutonians if there are any!

  3. Well said… If at all these people think about the consequences they may have to face later, after having killed someone – I don’t think they would dare to kill. you kill the one your daughter/son loves, inturn kill your daughter/son indirectly, end up in jail and leave your spouse with no support at such an age.

    Cheers,
    Loga

  4. We have advanced so much in terms of technology and science… at the same time, we haven’t learned to keep our morale growing too. Sad, but we are living among such mentally retarted morons.

  5. Thanks Bhavia. Enjoyed your story very much and the insightful comments. Honour killings are dishonourable. Such killers shouldn’t be allowed to pretend they acted in the name of virtue and finer feelings. They are murderers, plain and simple. They murdered someone else’s divine spark called “life”.

  6. Congratulations 🙂 This post in one of the winners of ‘Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards – 2011’ (TRBA 2011). We would like to create an ebook with all the winning entries in 47 categories on Feminism and Gender Issues in India (and one category on Animals Rights). Please do let us know if you are fine with your winning post/s being included in this ebook. ( Please click here to let us know).

  7. An awesome message conveyed with the help of a brilliantly written story.Simply Superb…loved those lines ‘People love interfering in other’s matters,they like gossiping about others.And I feared these people and that fear made me kill Anne.’This what will people think syndrome is killing the society(especially Indian)

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